My dad and I went to
see my mother at a private palliative care centre (12 or so rooms) shortly after
lunch time. My sister had been there since around 9am. My dad kissed my mom and
went to sit down next to her. My sister was sitting in front of my mother's bed.
I approached my mother's bed and smelled my paternal grand-mother. I knew right
away that my grand-mother was with us. I did not say anything. I kissed my
mother and then proceeded to smell her face, hair, arms, pajama and blankets.
Although I was convinced of the presence of my grand-mother, I had to check if
it was not a soap or a laundry detergent used by the palliative care center. It
was not as my mom had her soap and the linen had not been changed. After my
smell-check, which was questioned by my mother, I then said out loud that the
area around my mother's upper body was smelling like my paternal grand-mother.
My mother looked at me in a strange way. My father thought I was crazy and I
invited him to come closer and smell but refused to do so. My sister was silent
and looked serious. I thought she thought I was crazy too so I insisted that she
get up and smell too. She then said she did not need to do so as she smelled the
same scent when she arrived that morning. She knew our paternal grand-mother was
present in the room. We talked about it for 1 minute and my dad asked us to
change subject as he was getting upset. I can't describe the smell but I know it
was my grand-mother. I never smelled her before that day and did not happened
since the passing of my mother. The last time my sister had seen our
grand-mother was around 1990 or 1991. For me it was before it was one month
before her death in 2000.
Was this experience difficult to express in words? No
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased? No
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? No
Did you see the deceased? No
Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? Yes
What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell? I smelled the scent / body odor of my paternal grand-mother.
Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar? Scent/odor was very familiar. I am certain my grand-mother was in the room with us.
Was anything communicated by the smell? Has I smelled my paternal grand-mother 2 days before my mother died, my interpretation is that she was present in the room to let us know she was going to take good care of her and we should not be afraid or worried.
Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? Absolutely not.
How long did the experience last? Half a day.
Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden? The smell was present and as they day went by, it went away. When I left my mother at night, I could not smell my paternal grand-mother anymore.
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? No
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? Just to know she was present with us in the room, I knew I did not have much time with my mother.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real: I have a very good sense of smell. As soon as I approached my mom, I smelled the scent / body odor right away--there was no question in my mind as to what the smell was. I kissed my mom and smelled her skin, hair, pajama and blankets. I smelled elsewhere in the room. The smell was around my mother. It was not soap or laundry detergent. I checked the bathroom of the palliative care center. After doing my smelling check, I told my mother I could smell my paternal grand-mother.
Was the experience dream like in any way? No
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: I felt re-assured that my grand-mother was with us. I was not afraid. It just felt right.
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? I did cry as for me it was a sign that my mother was going to leave soon.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? The decision of not flying back to my home was made for me as I wanted to be with my mother at the time of her passing otherwise I would have felt very guilty of not being there.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? No
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Uncertain Thinking more that there must be something after death.
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Uncertain I like to believe there is something after life but I am still questioning and trying to find scientific answer to my experiences and this is mainly due to the fact that I married a scientific who does not really believe in life after death.
Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a compact? No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? Yes My sister experienced the same event earlier in the day when she was on her own with my mother. For her, the experience lasted more than half a day as she was there longer than me.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I thought it was an amazing and wonderful experience.
Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others? Yes
My sister witnessed and experienced the event.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? No
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Uncertain
I am not sure I understand your question but the event made me aware that I probably did not have too long with my mother. My sister and I were to fly to our respective homes and were debating to go or not. The doctor told us that my mother should be around the week-end after. It's almost as if out grand-mother came to tell us not to go as she was going to pick her up soon.
Did you become aware of future events? No
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? Yes
If communicating in my dreams with my dead mother is considered a special gift (for me it is!) then yes. My mother died 5 months ago. I had 7 dreams of her so far. I see her and we talk. I ask questions and she answers. It is very clear in my dream that she has passed away. She asks me to tell people that she is ok but misses us dearly. She misses talking and touching us. During my first few dreams, I could feel her sadness. Lately, she seems to be getting better. During my last dream (last night), we were wondering if we could hug and feel each other. We hugged and I started to cry as I had this wonderful feeling of hugging my mother again.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? No
Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased? No
Did you see a light? No
Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above? No
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes I talked to people that would think that I was not crazy! They all believed me and then shared their own experiences. People are afraid to talk about their experiences--once you open up--it's incredible the stories you hear!
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? No
Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience? My mother passed away on the same day as her own mother. For me and my sister, it is a sign that both our grand-mother came to get our mother and both events (smell of paternal grand-mother and same date of death of our mother and her mother) are telling us that they are present even though not physically present. It helped me. I know she is being taken care of by my grand-mothers.
Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? No
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire. I don't think so!