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Stephanie M's ADCs

Experience description:  

1st- My husband and I were having a marital difficulty. It was at a point that night that I was wondering if I should leave or not in a very serious way. I was sitting on the bed, crying. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder with a sense of peace. I knew that it was my mother-in-law. I had never met her, but I have a person in my family and her who I have felt a connection with even though I never knew them. After a brief moment of being startled, I relaxed into the feeling, knowing it was her reassuring me, letting me know that I needed to be strong and do what I needed to do. I never felt that she was trying to get me to stay. I think she was understanding me and trying to remind me of my inner strength. I didn't want to turn around since I knew that as soon as I did, her hand would be gone. I could feel her moving her hand across my back and shoulder on that side. It was such a calming, peaceful, reassuring feeling. I didn't want to lose it. I sat like that for probably a full three minutes before I finally turned. She and her hand were gone as soon as I began to turn. I was able to take what she had given me and make the right choice that night. 

2nd- My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly from a massive heart attack at age 63. We were in the ER with a full expectation that he would be going home with me. The doctors didn't even know what was happening until they reviewed everything after he died in an effort to spare me having his body put through an autopsy. His symptoms were totally atypical. They had tried to resuscitate him for over an hour. They even got his pulse back for a little while, a sure sign to me of how hard he was fighting to stay with me.  

There were two things that happened that night. I was in shock and not doing well, like they were wanting to admit me to the hospital not doing well. I insisted on seeing him after he died. When I went in the room, I was immediately calmer. I sat beside him. I talked to him and touched him. I could feel him there. I could identify the very place he was standing in the room, just on the other side of his body from me. I placed me head on his chest and closed my eyes for a moment. He was suddenly behind me. I could hear him breathing. There was no one else nearby or in the room with me. I could literally hear him breathing. 

What this says to me, in hindsight, is that he was still nearby. He wasn't leaving me alone. 

The other thing that happened that night was when I was walking out to the car to leave the hospital. His cousin and her husband had come to the hospital, but they did not arrive prior to his death. Even if they had, they wouldn't have been able to see him since the doctors were working on him. As for being there for me, I don't know that it would have helped. They were there when I needed them to be, after I saw him, his body. They then spent about 3 hours with me in the "quiet room." Everyone was worried about me driving myself home. I was insisting that I would be okay to do so and needed to do so. Thus, they spent all that time with me making sure I was okay. 

They walked me out to my car. It was in a dimly lit part of the parking lot. The moment I stepped into the gravel of the parking lot, I saw him. He was sitting in the car, waiting for me. I could see his coat, his ball cap, every outline of him. He was sitting behind the wheel of the car. I paused, almost stopped, but I knew it was okay to move towards him. There was nothing for me to fear. I knew it wasn't his body, his earthly being. I knew it was him, his spiritual being, waiting to escort me home, to make sure I got home safely. I could see him move to the passenger's seat when I got to the car. They didn't see him, but I didn't fear that I was crazy or that anything was wrong. All was as it was meant to be. I drove away with him beside me.  

I talked to him on the way home. I talked to him about how to get out of the city he had died in since I didn't know how to. He told me but not out loud. I would have missed turns if he hadn't. When I got on the highway, I could then feel him behind me. I knew he was behind me. I could feel his hand on my cheek as he stayed with me, behind and beside me for more than three weeks after. I still have only to ask, and he will touch me on my cheek. He did this during his memorial service, too. He brings me comfort in staying with me.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    2nd and 3rd- I heard him breathing. I heard him whisper in my ear.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  2nd- outside of me 

3rd- internally

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           2nd and 3rd-It was exactly the same as it had been only a little more than an hour before.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           None

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Yes

1st- when I was sitting on my bed, on my shoulder and across that side of my back 

2nd- on my cheek

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   1st- not familiar, but known 

2nd- very familiar

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  1st- reminding me of my inner strength 

2nd- comfort, knowing that he is with me

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  None

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

2nd and 3rd- He appeared exactly the same as he did when he was alive, but in shadow. I could see some details of him, but as if he was sitting in the shadows.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            2nd and 3rd- solid, as if in shadows

            How much of the deceased did you see?       2nd and 3rd- all of him

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       2nd and 3rd- yes

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            2nd and 3rd- as healthy as he had been when we met ten years ago

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           None

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      Uncertain

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

1st- calm, comforting 

2nd and 3rd- wanting to be with me, comforting me, yet a desire to be with me, some distress

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  1st- no 

2nd- no 

3rd- how to get out of the city that he died in. It was a place that he knew, but I did not.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           1st- His mother's touch was too real to not have been a real experience. 

2nd and 3rd- I know he did not want to leave me. I know how much we love one another. My experience of ADC and his tell me that this is real.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           1st- She brought me peace. I was somewhat happy at having experienced a contact with the woman who I loved from another place.  

2nd and 3rd- I was grieving. He had just died. I was sad. I wanted him with me more than anything. I think that he knows that he needs to be with me for this time, at least. He would give me anything he is capable of giving me. He brings me peace and calm in a terrible time.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

1st- I knew that I had the inner strength to do what I needed to do. 

2nd and 3rd- An ability to take all the things he had taught me, following my dreams, putting the worst experiences into good, etc., and use it towards my grieving and my future.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      1st- The feeling of love that came through in her touch. The worst was that it ended when I turned. 

2nd and 3rd- The best was that I knew he was still with me. The worst was that he is no longer physically with me.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:      1st- The experience changed my marriage. I probably would have left him at that point. However, she brought me the inner strength to not run away, to face it and change it in the ways that I could. This was the right thing to do. The last year of our marriage was the best year of our marriage. 

2nd and 3rd- It had affirmed my beliefs about death.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Yes     My attitude towards death has changed to be more certain.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     I no longer feel afraid of death. I know now that when I leave this life, I will be with him, we will be with God.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            1st- Strength. Belief. A knowledge of what I needed to do. 

2nd and 3rd- Grief. Sadness. Also, a calmness knowing he's with me.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

I'm not sure how to answer this.  

1st- I had a knowledge of strength that I was unable to acknowledge or use at any point in my life on a conscience level prior to that night. 

2nd and 3rd- I had a knowledge that he had completed his purpose on an earthly place. I also had a knowledge that I would never be without him. I had had a few doubts about this prior to that night.

Did you become aware of future events?       Yes

That my death was many years away, but that he would be waiting for me and beside me until that time. I also have become very aware of time here being so different than time where he is.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes

I have had minor incidents of knowing future events prior to these events.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            No

Did you see a light?           Uncertain

This is difficult to answer where my 2nd experience is concerned. I felt as though where he was touching me was light, as in lit.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     1st- I shared it with my husband. He believed and was awed. He put himself into working on our marriage in the way that we needed. I don't know where he was at in doing that prior to this. 

2nd and 3rd- I shared it with one of his cousins, the one who was very much like his sister. She believes. She was touched both by my experiences and by my sharing with her.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

I have had spiritual experiences in the past. I have had a few times when I had an abrupt inner knowledge that my Higher Power, my God, was showing me the way on my path.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes