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Sue B's ADC

Experience description:  

I lost my soon to be fiancÚ in a car accident due to a drunk driver several weeks before Christmas. I wasn't up to celebrating the holidays and on Christmas Day, decided to sleep through most of it. My mother woke me up and asked me to joint our family in our TV room. I could sleep, but she wanted me with the rest of them.  

I heard the doorbell ring and heard my mother get up to go answer it. I could hear her talking and welcoming the person on the other side of the door. I heard her say "Hi Tim! Merry Christmas, come on in...she's downstairs." 

Through the fog, I had to think fast and figure out where I was at and remember jumping up and saying to my family...."I had a horrible dream that Tim was killed...oh my gosh, it's not true, he really is here." I remember the look on my father and siblings face...the look of she's lost her mind. 

I found I couldn't move my feet to run upstairs to kiss him and thank God that I just had a nightmare, everything was all right. I just stood there, and watched a pair of shoes and jeans coming down the stairs and begged God that his face was at the top of the body.... 

Nope, it was my good friend Tim who lived down the way. Which made me begin to cry like I hadn't cried in weeks. What ever was left of my heart was ripped out and thrown on the ground. 

He had a brown box in his hands and he set it down on a table and walked over to me to hug me. He let me cry and told me everything was going to be okay....look he said, I brought you something for Christmas. He picks up the box and hands it to me to take my mind off of what had just happened. 

A few weeks before my love died, I was at his apartment and he wanted to make dinner. He opened up the freezer and asked if I wanted steak or pork chops for dinner. I wanted steak. He put a package that obviously had been rewrapped before it was frozen. To me, it looked like frozen pork chops and when I pointed it out, he told me that he knew a steak when he saw one. 

As the package thawed and he went to cook them, he realized that they were indeed not steak, but pork chops. I teased him all through dinner about it. But, he wouldn't apologize nor own up to me being right. Not a peep about it.  

The brown box contained 12 frozen steaks. I asked my friend why he felt inclined to give me steaks. He said he wasn't sure, he questioned his choice but said he had an overwhelming feeling that he needed to give me frozen steaks. 

It made me laugh. It was his way of telling me that he was okay and that maybe he didn't know a steak when he saw one.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?     Yes   A few weeks before my love was killed, we had a fun debate over frozen food. On Christmas day, a friend of mine with the same name as my love's stopped to visit me and bring me a gift.

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them? Yes 

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?   No                                   

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?   Yes  

Describe where and how you were touched:     I had a feeling of warmth and tingles come over me.

Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   It was very familiar to me. It was the warmth I had always felt from him when he hugged me and the tingles I would get when he would touch me.  

Was anything communicated by the touch?   I just felt the touch was to let me know that he loved me and was okay.

Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   No.

Did you see the deceased?   No                      

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?    Yes

What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?    His after shave lotion.

Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?    I could smell his after shave lotion

Was anything communicated by the smell?    Just that he was with me.

Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?    No

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?   Yes     I just felt a lot of love.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?   No.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?    Experience was definitely real    Having a friend show up with the same name and giving me a gift about something we debated on a few weeks before he passed. There is no way that could be made up or a coincidence.

Was the experience dream like in any way?    No   

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?    No   

What was the best and worst part of your experience?    The worst is that this was the first time my brain could comprehend he was really gone. The best part was that it was Christmas Day and I felt that he was reaching out to me to let me know he was okay, let me know he was thinking about me, and that I was right about what a frozen pork chop looks like....

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?    Yes    It wasn't until later in life and after my own experience with an NDE that I began to realize that this person has been with me since his death, I just wasn't seeing it. Although I believe in a higher order, I wasn't able to comprehend or connect the dots with him. However, I have been able to go back over the past 30 years and there are a significant amount of experiences that I wasn't able to see, until now.   

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?    No   

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?    Yes    I had only experienced one other death in my life. My grandmother had passed away a few years earlier, and my parents didn't let us connect too much with the event. We attended the funeral and were ushered right back out. So, at that time, being only 22 with not a lot of life experiences under my belt, I wasn't in tune with any spiritual understandings other than recognizing that there is a higher power than us.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?   No

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?    Yes    My family and a friend was present.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?       No   

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?        No   

Did you become aware of future events?           No   

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?     No   

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?    No   

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?    No   

Did you see a light?    No   

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?   No   

Have you shared this experience with others?    Yes    I'm careful with who I share my stories with...my husband and a few friends are or have become believers.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?    No        

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?    No   

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?   No   

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?      Yes    I was hit by a car while riding my bicycle. Due to the severity of the accident, I should have died that day; however, I'm happy to say I didn't. During that time, I had an out of body experience and was joined by my love who sat with me in a cornfield while we waited for help to arrive.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?    Yes