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Sue B's ADCs

Experience description:  

I was 25, my husband 27, and we had 2 daughters aged 4 and 1. My husband was late home from work and I was getting annoyed. There was a knock on the door and I opened it to see a policeman standing there.  He told me my husband had been fatally injured in a car accident.  It took a few seconds for the word 'fatal' to hit home - he kindly contacted my father and stayed with me till he came. Distraught is such an ineffective word to describe how I felt. Emotionally I was having a hard time believing he was gone - the last time I had seen him he was his usual energetic self.  I insisted on seeing him and against everyone's advice, I went to the funeral home where his body had been taken the next day.  It was very surreal and if not for the obvious injuries he looked to be sleeping. I had to touch him to be sure and was surprised at how cold he was.  It was at that moment I felt a wave of warmth literally pass through my body, it was very comforting and my uncle remarked on how calm I appeared. 

The night of the funeral, my 4yo came into my room late at night and climbed into bed with me.  She said that daddy had told her I was sad and needed a hug.

Later during the night I woke up to see a light in the hallway.  Thinking I had left the lounge room light on, I got up to turn it off.  Sitting on the lounge was my husband. He told me that he was okay and knew we needed to talk.  We talked about the children and how I was going to cope...we said all the things we never got to say before he died. I do remember asking him if there really was a God and he laughed and said yes, but it's not who you think! I don't remember him leaving but I woke up in my bed the next morning. Logic told me this was a dream, but it was so different, I couldn't convince myself that it hadn't really happened. 

The second time I saw my husband he woke me up and we brought the girls into our bed.  We played games with them like we had so many times before. He would but the eldest girl at he end of the bed and we would both take a corner of the room and pull them up quickly so to roll her down into the pillows at the top of the bed. We put the girls back to bed and I went back to bed.

The next morning my 4yo ran into my room smiling and she told me it was really fun playing with daddy last night. I knew then that I hadn't been dreaming - how could we possibly share a dream?? 

The third and last time I saw my husband he cam to me at night again. He told me he had to go and could not come back any more.  I told him I wanted to stay with him.  He took my hand and a light appeared in front of us.  It was the shape of a tunnel, though not solid, more like rings of light.  We rose up through the 'tunnel' and were then standing next to a children's playground with kids playing. I couldn't see the ground as it was all misty.  There were lots of people all dressed in white walking towards a large entrance.  I want to say building, but I don't know if it was.  There was the most amazing feeling of peace and tranquility. I have never felt intensely peaceful and relaxed, I have no other way to describe it. If someone had told me to cut my arm off, I would have gladly done it. My husband turned to me and said I could go no further as the girls needed me.  He needed to go forward and I needed to go back...so did. I never saw him again. 

This all happened within a week of his death.  One of my sister-in-laws later told me how she had also 'seen' her brother. He had come to say goodbye.  She told him he should go to me, but he said that he had already seen me. Another sister-in-law she would swear that she had seen him in a car park days afterwards. He was in the distance and just waved at her, then he was gone.  

Many other strange things happened over the next few months, but never as intense as that week.  The other occurrences were 'different'.  I would be deeply depressed and then I would feel that heat pass through me, and I would be calm again.  I would smell a certain scent that reminded me of his funeral, at times when I needed to be alert. The smell would snap me back and usually happened when I was driving. 

I know this isn't a classic near death experience, but I don't know how to explain what happened to me.  We had talked about life after death and joked that the first to go had to come back to say goodbye.  I never expected it to actually happen.  I am sure that these were not hallucinations, dreams, or wishful thinking - how did my daughter also see him?

I do know that I am not afraid to die when my time comes. I also realized that you go out with what you come in with, everything else is just window dressing. The real gift of life are the people and relationships you experience while here. I have raised two wonderful girls and I know my husband would be proud of them.  I am not religious but I do know I will meet him again - someday.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?         Yes     My husband had recently died unexpectedly - he had been hit by a car and I was notified by a policeman at my door. The experience happened several days later, after the funeral.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?   Uncertain      Difficult to explain emotions.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal    During the 'visits'     The clarity was intense.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.    ethereal, but distinct

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.    Heightened

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?    Yes   When playing with the children

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Love  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?           Yes     As above - rings of light, not solid.

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes     the misty place where the children played

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?            No   

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?         No    My husband

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?    No      

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?          A clearly mystical or unearthly realm            As above, misty place that seemed to everywhere, apart from the playground and the entrance

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?     No      

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?            Everything about myself or others           

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes     The entrance - I was not allowed through

Did you come to a border or point of no return?       I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was "sent back" against my will I came back willingly

Did scenes from the future come to you?       No      

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?        Yes     As it pertained to me - my purpose to be a good mother

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   Moderate changes in my life  I am more accepting, though idiots still annoy me! I tend to go with the flow now, change what I can and accept what I can't.        

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   
Yes     Only that they were solidified - values that is.  My beliefs can still be swayed.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?    No    

Have you ever shared this experience with others?           
Yes     Been 25 years since it happened. Shared it about a week later after someone commented in the change in me. They didn't laugh. Everyone I have told is credulous, not sure whether to believe me or not. Their choice.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    Yes     Only as an oddity you might talk about. It was sort of up there with UFOs and spontaneous human combustion.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:    Experience was definitely real    Because I shared the second visit with my daughters. No doubt in my mind.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time: Experience was definitely real           Why do people have 10 fingers?  They just do.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           No      

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? No   

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?  No   

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?    Yes   

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     All of it.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?        I have always wondered about it.  I would love to know if others have had this sort of experience. Not a near death experience, but very similar... sort of.