It was late January or early February in 1997. My grandma just had passed away in mid-December at the age of 98. She was one of the very first people in my life that I'd lost, and she'd always been special to me, and made me feel likewise.
As some of her financial matters were settled, my brothers and I each received a small check from her. It broke my heart to think that she'd managed to hold anything back for us, considering how simply she'd lived, and on such a limited income.
When I pulled up at the drive-through at the bank, I hesitated, and quite nearly wrote "Miss You" on the memo line of the check. I intended to follow this with a sad face, with tears. It then occurred to me that my super-rational dad might think I was crazy, so I resisted the urge.
I proceeded to my parents' house afterwards, and sat down at their kitchen table to visit with my mom. Valentine's Day wasn't far off, and she happened to have a dish of "conversation" candy hearts on the table. I nonchalantly grabbed one, and looked down to see that it read, "Miss Me?". I couldn't believe it. What were the odds? I couldn't even remember seeing that message on a candy heart before.
I proceeded to take a series of hearts from the dish without looking, and recorded their words, in order, until they no longer seemed to compose a message. My message, from my grandmother, read like this:
"Miss Me? Yes. Foxy. It's True. See You. Goodbye. Smile." I still get goose bumps when I read this!
"Foxy" was the nickname my grandfather had given me when I was little -- even giving me a placemat with a red fox on it one time.
The hearts made the message a little choppy, perhaps, but the message that came through was undeniable. Even the way it ended, with the "See you! Goodbye. Smile!" had a familiar ring, like the way she would've said it had she been there.
I can't explain the
logistics of the entire event, and I realize it can be easily explained away "by
chance" from a skeptical onlooker, but I sincerely and genuinely believe that
this was my grandmother communicating with me.
Was this experience difficult to express in words? Yes
The difficulty for me was the fact that I knew it could be easily discounted or brushed off by others, yet I knew it had meaning and was significant.
Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?
How long did the experience last? Just a couple of minutes.
Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden? A sudden beginning, and a sudden end. It was apparent to me when this communication commenced, and when the message was done being delivered.
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? Yes
She was happy and positive, and wanting to reassure me. Even surprisingly lighthearted.
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? Not in the way that I think you are asking.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real: It's hard to explain, but it just commanded my attention, and wouldn't let go. The odds against pulling that kind of sequence of candy hearts out of the dish like that and having them respond to something I'd just thought in my head, then using my childhood nickname, and using a manner of "speaking" (the triple goodbye at the end) that my grandma commonly used, and the message coming to me at the time that it did -- I just can't believe any other explanation is valid.
Was the experience dream like in any way? No
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: Amazement and disbelief.
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes
I realized my grandma was still "out there" -- not only looking over me, but even reading my thoughts, it seems! And, that she seemed to be "in a good place", as she sounded happy, and even a bit playful.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? The best part of the experience was to realize that "my grandma" is still out there, and that she still cares about me, and is somehow still involved in or paying attention to my life. The worst part was knowing the experience was over, and that I couldn't continue some type of communication with her.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Uncertain Describe: I suppose not in any major way, but perhaps in some subtle ways I'm not completely conscious of.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes Just a more secure feeling, and a stronger, more "verified" belief about life after death.
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Yes I already felt that afterlife was likely, but this gave me something more concrete to hang onto, and made me believe more.
Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a compact? No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? Uncertain
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Happy and reassured.
Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others? Yes
I showed my mom the message I received, which I still had on the table in front of me, and which I had also written down on a small piece of paper so I wouldn't forget it. I don't think she was sure if she believed me or not.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? No
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Uncertain
Since I was contacted, I do feel this is "special knowledge" in and of itself, but nothing specific aside from this.
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes Very few people, because I know how this would sound to me if I hadn't been the one who experienced it. Okay, so she pulled some candy conversation hearts out of a dish, and now her grandma is talking to her?! The people I've shared it with have seemed to me to be interested and curious, but probably not completely believing or disbelieving my experience and the meaning I attached to it.
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? No
Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? Yes
Just once, a brief, unexpected out-of-body experience when I was a teenager. A group of my friends and I were playing cards together, and I realized I was up above my body, looking down at all of us, and I could see the tops of our heads, and one other person's cards who was sitting to my left! I really don't remember having a sense of "leaving" or re-entering my body, it was just like I was suddenly "up there", and I think when I spoke, I was "back in" again, without actually feeling as if I'd traveled back or forth.
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes