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Susan F's ADC

Experience description:  

I was physically and emotionally exhausted, working two jobs and raising two beautiful daughters alone, to say my days were very full and that I was extremely busy doesn't even begin to describe my life at that time. That being said, at the time of this occurrence I was 100% certain that it was a real event happening apart from my imagination, and that I hadn't fallen asleep. My father appeared in my living room, it WAS him, he looked, and sounded like him he had both arms though which for some reason seemed normal to me even though he had lost his left arm just below the shoulder many years before I was born. He spoke to me saying that everything would be all right, not to worry, and that I would see him again. I remember feeling peace, and feeling like I wasn't exhausted anymore. And that was it , he was gone, and I had to get to work. Life went on as normal for two days, I didn't speak of it. I put it on the "back burner" of my mind, I couldn't make sense of it, and got on with the task at hand. My family, knowing of my struggle to start over, and knowing that I was alone, opted not to call and inform me of his death, rather they contacted a person {a school hood chum} living in the town I lived in at the time and asked her to deliver the news to me in person, she flagged me over when we passed on the road, I had my little girls with me in the car, she asked me to come out of the car to speak to her. When she told me the news I couldn't feel my legs they just collapsed beneath me. I wept uncontrollably for several minutes, it seemed much longer. I wish she had followed me home to tell me. Some people can be so insensitive, my family would've done better to just call me,, or make the hour trip, one of them, to tell me

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  Yes

There weren't words to describe it at first, and who would I tell, people would think I was off my rocker, besides I didn't find out my father had passed until two days later

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    I heard him audibly say "everything will be alright and not to worry" but I felt him say that we'd be together again...and it was made known to me at exactly the moment he spoke it that EVERYTHING would be alright having an all encompassing meaning, not just this moment in time or my life in particular but everything as in " ALL THINGS" would be made right

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  both as described above

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           it was definitely his voice

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           without question NO

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   without question NO

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

well he had both arms as mentioned above, it was weird, the only way I can describe it would be to say it was as if I could see through him, but I had no awareness of what was behind him at the time, as if there wasn't anything behind him where my living room wall should have been

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            see above

            How much of the deceased did you see?       all of him I guess although I can't recall his feet maybe I just didn't look the whole experience played out probably in a matter of seconds, but I hung on every word

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       that's a toughie, I would say relatively the same age but healthier, whole, robust, and very much at peace

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            as mentioned above

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           without question NO

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        sadly not long enough, seconds maybe

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         he appeared and then he was gone just as quickly and inexplicably as he had appeared

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

he seemed to have a joyful calm and peaceful air about him as though any and all discomfort, frustration, burden or worry he may have carried in life were simply not there as though they had never been there

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  a feeling of knowingness, knowing that death is not the end

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           well theoretically speaking, my reality is just that , mine ,my take on my private experience. Does that make it REAL per-say? To me it does, if aliens landed a spacecraft in your back yard and you heard it, felt it, saw it...it would be real to you, but would that necessarily mean that there are extraterrestrials visiting my earth in my perception of what is real?

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           I wanted to hold onto that moment forever, such a peaceful calm feeling like understanding all things knowable, like being free from the fear of the unknown, like being a part of something much bigger than myself, bigger even than I can get my mind around even now

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

Huge , we as humans never seem to know what we have till it's gone, I felt invisible to my family, being the youngest of 14 had something to do with that I suppose, never really felt a connection or a place within the family. it wasn't until that very instant that I knew I mattered... that I was loved

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      it was just too short, I would do anything to have that moment back again

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:            undoubtedly.

What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have?     
Other belief   
I feel him from time to time as though he's all around me. A Chick-o-dee landed on my shoulder once, I knew it was him. That was his bird. Very shortly after his passing I was at the funeral of a friends father, there we two gentlemen a little ways away from me, I could hear that they were talking but couldn't make out what they were saying, then from that direction and just as clear as a bell in my fathers voice I heard "Well, I'll see ya "they were his words, his voice.         

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Yes     I believe there's something just out of our line of sight, just behind a very thin veil, and I'm determined to figure out a way to see it ,experience it, although in these 15+ years it seems it's more a matter of believing that it's there just out of reach, and trusting that I am a part of it somehow in someway that brings me closest to it, all the research, studying and trying to grasp the concept of what I have experienced doesn't quench my thirst or fill my belly it only leaves me fruitlessly searching evermore

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     I'm nowhere near having all the answers, but now at least I feel like I know what questions to ask, and I feel like I have a sort of paranormal sense of people, whether they good people or not, honest or not, where their heart is so to speak

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Yes

the younger of my two daughters {when she was born the doctor looked at her and immediately said -she's an old soul-he had been delivering babies for about forty + years, he had been my OBGYN for roughly 5 years, had delivered my first daughter, I had never heard him speak of anything spiritual or paranormal, or quite frankly anything not mainstream prior to or since} When she was 2 or 3 years old she said to me once out of the blue "mommy, if I die before you, I'll watch for you and when you get to heaven I'll wave reaching her arm up high above her head's you'll know it's me, and if you go to heaven first you wave and I'll run up and hug you! choking back the tears, trying to conceal the emotion in my voice, I said to her that's a great idea honey, it's a deal.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes I guess that fact that he was in my living room speaking to me two days before I even knew he was gone was a sort of verification

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            at first I questioned my sanity.... man I must have really flipped.... you're crackin' up girl, get it together... it wasn't until I heard of his passing and when he had passed that it hit home. He had called me just a few days before all this, he would call me out of the blue just to see how I was, or pop by for an impromptu visit, never expecting anything, not to fuss over him just to spend time together...as I was saying, he had called me just a few days before all this and I cut the conversation short, I didn't have time for him, I really beat myself up about that, it still pains me.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

it seems like I heard/felt a lot more than what was actually spoken, while it was occurring I didn't feel like it was in haste, it felt like a calm slow gentle conversation, although I don't recall speaking, but it seemed as though my questions/thoughts were answered. but afterward it felt like a flash a fraction of a second

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

very much so , but nothing that I can put into words, just a sort of 'knowing', but don't ask me for the winning lottery #s I don't know them :)

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes

I feel like I can read people, also things I read or hear on the news , it's like I have some underlying gut feeling what's true and what's fabricated, or what has been twisted for media hype, and what's being downplayed. Also I put extra effort into noticing the unnoticed, seeing the beauty in people that don't meet society's standards. Helping those that have been labeled a lost cause. But maybe that's in the genes.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            No

Did you see a light?           Uncertain

there was sort of a warm radiance of light all around him, and though it was like I could see through him, I couldn't see past him

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     very few, my daughters when they were older, my husband of 5 years tomorrow, and a close friend. My youngest daughter totally gets it, the rest it's as though I were speaking a foreign language :)

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       no

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

Yes 2 things. When I was very young 10 or 11 years old I had had a cat since birth "Tiger" it was wintertime and two of my brothers had just left heading for town they were near the end of our 1/4 mile long driveway, I was in my bedroom with no way of seeing or hearing what was going on at the end of the road but when I heard the front door open, footsteps down the stairs and up again and the door shut, I looked out my bedroom window and saw my brother with a rifle and I somehow instantly knew he was going to shoot my kitty, I ran to the living room where my parents were sitting and in raging tears said " why is Dan going to shoot my cat?"  My folks knew nothing about it, and there was no way that I should/could know about it either, until moments later a gun shoot and both my brothers returned to the house, the fan belt had snapped on the engine of my brothers car and tiger was in there warming himself unbeknownst to them and had cut him nearly in half upon breaking, my brother had done the only humane thing which was to end his suffering, no one ever spoke to my knowing the unknowable, I mourned Tiger for a long time.

 Secondly, shortly after the birth of my first child, I was laying on my bed resting while she slept, just laying there for a few minutes on top of the blankets of my nicely made bed, when suddenly, not meaning to, I sat up in an upright position with my feet on the floor and my back to a large window only very quickly I realized that I was in fact still laying peacefully on my bed, but that was just my empty body, my whatever makes me had separated from my physical self it startled me and I stood up and turned slightly to look out the window and noticed that it was the same beautiful sunny day as before I parted from my body I was just thinking don't be afraid it wouldn't be beautiful and calm and sunny if this were a bad thing but in that instance I was immediately back in my body

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Thank-you for this opportunity, I haven't spoken of this in a long time and it's nice to know I'm not alone. 

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    Very well put together , the questions were in depth and yet not repetitive, I feel as though I've left nothing unsaid. Great format, Kudos to you all who are investing time and energy in this matter.