Tammy W's ADC

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Experience description:

Details of location of experience and your activity at the time of experience:  I have most during my sleep.  I have smelled in my bedroom at the foot of my bed, and in my hallway and other parts of my home at any given time.  I have seen him 'physically' in my home during awake hours.

Gender:  Female

Degree of bereavement for deceased immediately prior to the experience:  Severe sadness and/or grief feelings

Degree of alertness immediately prior to experience:  Asleep

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?  Yes
Describe:  I have had numerous experiences with My Father.  My Younger daughter has the most experiences with him.  She is able to give me messages from him. If I ask him something, the next day she will tell me what he told her to tell me, usually it is the answer to what I asked him.

Your current principal occupation:  Administrative Assistant

Main interests and hobbies:  Internet Research, computers, reading, music, traveling.

Religious background at time of experience:  Conservative/fundamentalist

      Further comments:  I have always been very spiritual.

Religious background currently:  Conservative/fundamentalist

      Further comments:  Same as above, I have always been very spiritual.

Race (as many as apply): 


Country of birth:  USA

Country (ies) of family origin:  USA

After experience, contents of experience were considered:  Mixed

Highest level of education:  12

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience:  No

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  No


Experience description: 

      I have had a couple of experiences.  The first one was The day my father died.  When I got home from the nursing home.  I could smell him in my bedroom, the scent was on and off for a couple of days.

Two weeks after my Dad passed away, I was driving home one night and I was crying asking him to give me a sign and let me know that he was okay.. I told him that I loved him and that my heart knew that he was okay, but that my head just didn't know.  It was 9:30 PM when I left my mother's.  When I got home it was 10:00PM, there was a message from daughter that had been left at 9:45PM.  She asked me to call her as soon as I got the message.  It was late and I did not call her back.  The next day at work, my daughter called me and told me that my Father had told her persistently the night before to get ahold of me and to tell me that he was okay, She said his exact words were: your mother knows in her heart that I am okay, but in her head she just doesn't know.  Tell her I am okay, don't worry about and that I love her'.  She said she got this message the night before and called me immediately. I was on the way home when she had called me the night before.  She would have called around the same time that I was talking to my father and telling him to give me a sign.

A month after my Dad passed away, I was still riddled with Grief.  I dreamt that I was in a huge auditorium with all kinds of people and a lady was trying to sit me at the bottom.  I could see my father in the upper right hand corner of the auditorium and I kept telling the people (none of whom I knew) that I had to go sit with my dad because he just died and I needed to be close to him.  When I sat down next to him, I started crying uncontrollably, he never said anything, he just looked said that I was so upset.  I knew by the look on his face that I had to let him go, He grabbed my hand and held it so tight that I woke up from the dream crying and I could still feel him holding my hand.

A couple nights later, I dreamt that my dad was at my front door and when I opened the door to let him in there was another guy with him (I do not know this guy) I tried to shut the door on the guy behind my Father and not let him in because I knew that he had come to take my father with him.  The guy just pushed the door open and walked in behind my Dad.  The guy said to me 'you know that he has to go with me'. My Dad told me that he had to leave and that he was going with the guy. 

About two months after that I woke up one night with my Dad kissing me on my side of my nose.  Something he always did when he was alive.  He would kiss me on the crease of my nose at the side of my nose and cheek.  His moustache always tickled. I knew when I woke up that he was just letting me know that although he was gone, that he still loved me and that he was still around.

I have a very hard time with my Dad's death due the fact that he wanted to die at my home and instead he died in a nursing home - ALONE.  I have had extreme guilt and I feel that I let him down.  A month ago, I began asking my dad two questions: 1)if he still loved me and 2) was he disappointed in me.  The next morning I woke up and my daughter had placed a note on the refrigerator for me.  She said, Grandpa kept her up half of the night talking to her and that she needed to give me the answer for my two questions that I had been asking him.  He said tell me the answer to the first question was 'YES' and the answer to the second question was 'NO'.  She said she could not tell me what the question I had asked was because Grandpa would not tell her the question, he told her that I would know.

Did you sense an awareness or presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them ?  Yes
Describe:  I have sensed my Father's presence on numerous occasions.

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?  Yes
Describe:  I have heard him on numerous occasions.
Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally, or outside of you, inside of you, or did you not hear a voice or sound but had a knowing of what was communicated?  It was his voice.  It was coming from him.

If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar to the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?  It was his voice.

How clearly did you hear the deceased?  I heard him like he was standing right next to me talking.

Is there any possibility that what you heard was from any other source in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  NO!

Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?  NO!

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?  Yes

Where and how were you touched?  I felt him kissing my face on night, I could feel his moustache tickling my face even after I woke up.  I also woke up one night with him holding my hand.

Was the touch familiar?  YES!  It was what he used to do previous to his death.

Was anything communicated by the touch?  He was trying to let me know that he was okay and that he loved me still.

Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in your surroundings at the time of your experience?  NO!

Did you see the deceased?  Yes

Describe the appearance of the deceased:  Yes, I have seen him!

How clearly did the deceased appear?  I seen him like he was sitting there.

How much of the deceased did you see?  I seen his entire body. He looked right at me.

Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?  He was maybe a couple of years younger.  He looked healthy.  Not like he looked previous to his death.

How healthy did the deceased appear to be?  He looked healthy.  He died of cancer and was very skinny when he passed away.  He looked very healthy and had weight on his body.  He did not have the cane that he was walking with previous to his death, and he was not on the oxygen that he had been on for the last 2 years of his life.

Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in your surroundings at the time of your experience?  NO!

Did you smell a distinct smell, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?  Yes

Describe:  I have smelled his body scent several times.

Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?  It was his body scent.  His body odor.

Was anything communicated by the smell?  I just knew that he was here.

Is there any possibility the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in your surroundings at the time of your experience?  NO!

How long did the experience last?  sometimes only seconds. Sometimes off and on all day long.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?  It was sudden.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? 
Describe:  Sometimes he just wants to let me know that he is around.  Sometimes, he saddened by the fact that I am having a hard time letting him go and dealing with the grief.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:  Experience was definitely real

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  I am usually glad to know that he is still here, even though I cannot see him.  I am still sad with the lose of my Father.

What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have:      Joy
      Other Attitude or Belief
          I fully believe in ADC.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?  Yes
Describe:  I have been able to let go of a lot of the Guilt and Disappointment that I had in regards to my father dying in a nursing home and to my letting him.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  Yes
Describe:  Yes, I always knew there was life after death.  Now, it feels like death is not so final.

Have you ever made a death compact?  Yes
      Describe:  I have made them with my daughters and my husband.  I never made one with my father.  I did ask him one time a couple of months before he died if he would come back and see me.  I wanted to get a compact from him, however, I did not want to face the fact that he was dying so I never made the compact with him.

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?  No
      Describe:  I have had Out of Body experiences every since I was a small child.  I used to have them all of the time when I was little.  Now, every once in awhile I might have one.

To the best of your knowledge, did the deceased, during their life, ever have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual experience?  Uncertain
      Describe:  He told me a couple of months before he died that he was out of air one night and that he could feel his mothers hand on his, and that she woke him up in time for him to turn his oxygen up.  He said that when he left, she would be coming for him.

Was the experience dream like in any way?  Uncertain

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?

      Describe:  Numerous times in my dreams I have seen hundreds of people or maybe just one other person.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?  Yes

      Describe:  My daughter has given information that she could never have known.  She also has told me things that I was able to verify later on in regards to my Father's family. 

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?  Yes

      Describe:  I was in a huge auditorium of people, none of whom I knew.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  Yes

      Describe:  I knew that I had to let go of my Father and not hold onto the grief and the guilt.

Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  My daughter believes me.  My husband thinks I am nuts.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?  No

What emotions/feelings did you experience following your experience?  sadness, happiness, relief.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  The best part was seeing my father and knowing that he still loves me too.  The worst was having to let him go.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  No
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes