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Tony K's ADC

Experience description:  

I was walking through the kitchen to the bathroom to take a shower and all of a sudden I had this feeling that I wasn't alone in the house anymore.  At the same time this feeling hit me I knew it was Ronnie.  I knew it just as sure as if I could see him that it was him.  The hairs on my arms stood up and it felt like the air was full of static electricity.  I could even tell where he was.  He was at the corner of the kitchen table and I was about six feet away in the open area leading to the bathroom.  I said his name, something which I hadn't been able to do in years.  As soon as I did this he and I exchanged thoughts.  I told him that I loved him and I missed him and he told me that he was fine and not to worry about him and to be happy.  All this took only a fraction of a second and then the feeling that he was there just faded away.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            Yes

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        The whole thing lasted less than 30 seconds

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         The beginning was very sudden and the ending was more gradual.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

He seemed happy and peaceful.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  Just having him come back and tell me he was fine and he wanted me to be happy helped me resolve my PTSD.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           I have never experienced anything like this before.  I've had other "experiences" but this was the most powerful.  I just know it was real.  It's not hard to describe it but it's hard to explain it.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           I wasn't at all scared.  I felt a little nervous like when you see somebody you haven't seen in years.  Maybe excited/nervous.  And I kind of wanted to cry at the same time.  I was happy he came back because I never got to say goodbye, so now this was goodbye and I knew he wouldn't be back again.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

All the PTSD symptoms' I was having have resolved and I consider myself cured of that.  I still think about Ronnie but I think about how he came back just to help me get better.  He was like that when he was alive too.  He'd help other people if he could.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best part was just being able to tell him the things I had wanted to tell him ever since he died.  The worst part was at the end when I had the feeling that his presence was fading away.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         No      

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  Yes     I think Ronnie was happy in Heaven and he and God both cared enough about me that God let him come back to help me.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?           
I thought how this was the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to me and I was so excited I wanted to tell everybody about it.  But I didn't tell anybody for a few days and then I just told my doctor and he didn't seem to think it was a big deal and said maybe I shouldn't go around telling people.  I still told my family and best friend though.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

When we exchanged thoughts it happened almost instantaneously.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     My family thinks I'm just crazy.  But my best friend believes me and she thinks Ronnie came back just to help me too.  I wanted to tell Ronnie's family but a psychiatrist I had once said I probably shouldn't.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            Yes

I was taking antidepressant medication at the time.  I was taking Nardil, an MAO Inhibitor.  I started taking it in March and it flipped me from horribly miserable to bouncing off the walls happy in three days.  By this time though, it was starting to loose its effectiveness.  I don't think I was taking anything else.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

After my grandfather died in 1988 I was visiting my grandmother and I heard "Pop" come out of the bathroom and shut the door and walk on the creaky floorboards in the bedroom and head back to his recliner to continue reading a book or work on a crossword puzzle.  I was sitting in the kitchen talking to "Granny" but I could see through the living room and I looked up really expecting to see my grandfather.  I had heard these same sounds so many times that I really forgot he was gone and expected to see him.  That was just a couple of months after he died.  I was probably the grandkid closest to him and I think maybe that's why I heard him.  And last fall at the college I go to Catawba College in Salisbury, NC) I kept hearing dainty girl footsteps follow me up a certain set of steps but every time I turned around to see you was behind, there was nobody there.  I finally asked a couple of my professors and one of them starts telling about the ghost lady in the 1920's dress that follows some people up the steps.  One girl has even seen her and the campus police are afraid to go to the top floor of the building at night.  After that day I asked about her, I didn't hear her anymore and the professor that told me about her said nobody else had heard her since then either.  I'm waiting to see if she comes back this year.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes