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Tracy Y's ADC

Experience description:  

I dreamt of a street in England. I saw my soul mate's motor cycle hit a tree.  there was a yellow VW beetle parked on the side of the road, it appeared to be dark with street lamps lit.  He hit his head. then I heard him calling my name and saw him walking around my dad's house in Canada saying it's a mistake. It's all a mistake. He kept reaching for the phone, but he had no substance and his hand passed right through the phone.  He was walking around my dad's bedroom, my bedroom, I followed him downstairs and the whole time he was telling me it is a mistake, it's all a mistake.  when I awoke it was 2:30ish am EST. I awoke, afraid, and feeling alone. the level of grief was like nothing I have ever experienced in my life.  and still grieve today

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    He kept telling me it was a mistake, it's all a mistake, you have to tell them it's a mistake. it was as clear as him standing in front of me.  I knew during the dream that he was dead.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  I heard him in my head, but it seemed to originate from outside

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           it was his voice

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no I was asleep in my bedroom, my dad was asleep as was everyone else in the house

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   none

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Yes

my hands, my heart

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   familiar

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  love, and great sadness

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  no

Did you see the deceased?         Yes   he was as he looked in life. except he had no substance. like looking at a picture that is opaque

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            he appeared solid until he tried reaching for the phone, or the door at which point he was opaque

            How much of the deceased did you see?       all of him

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       I saw him as he was when he died.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            he was healthy

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no, I was in Canada he was in England.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      Yes

            What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?           his aftershave

            Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?     yes

            Was anything communicated by the smell?   safety, love

            Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?        no

How long did the experience last?        I don't know how long the dream lasted I just know what time it was when I woke up

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         sudden

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

he was anxious and worried for his mother and twin sister. He was saddened

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  He told me that it was not an accident.  it was intentional on the other persons part. He also said the police were making a mistake, and we had to reach his family and let them know, it was a mistake, it was all a mistake

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           I was living across the Atlantic, at that time a letter took 7 days to reach Canada from England. exactly 7 days later, I received a letter with his obituary.  I already knew he was dead, I found out recently after searching for his twin sister since he died that there was a lot of drama surrounding his death.  the police went to the wrong house and told the other persons mother he was dead and then had to retract that and go to his mothers house and tell her he was dead. this after them telling her he was fine.  there was a hearing due to the incidents surrounding his death.  these things I could never have known as I lost contact with his family after his death.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           I was afraid, but he always comforted me and I felt an intense pain, like my soul had just been ripped from inside of me. I wanted to be with him and was told I could not

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

I have grown spiritually, but there are times the grief and the pain overwhelms me still to this day.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      there was no best part it was all very intense. I have never experienced grief to that magnitude since then

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:      I have found I cannot stay in a relationship longer than about 2.5 to 3 yrs. I push people away that get too close. I tried to close down the connection I had with my soul mate because I did not every want to experience that again.       

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  No       I already knew I had a special gift. I did not realize the extent of it

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes He gave me insights into the accident that I could never know and got these things confirmed last year when I found his twin sisters daughter.  I told her what I knew, and she spoke to her mom and asked her did this happen, did that happen. they were both surprised I knew, because I had been in Canada for 10 months when he died

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            extreme and intense grief.  I attempted suicide several times because I had never felt so alone in my life. I had never experienced such pain and longing to be with him.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes   I knew that for whatever reason, this was a test for me

Did you become aware of future events?       Uncertain  I have always been aware of future events in some form or fashion

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     surprised, but my dream was validated by other family members

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       since he died, he still speaks to me through songs and visits me in my dreams regularly.  I have been told I speak in a girlish voice in my sleep, those would be the times I am speaking to my soul mate.  I know he walks with me daily and watches over me, but the sadness still invades at the most inopportune moments. I have the ability to love deeply and unconditionally, but after my 4th failed marriage I have chosen to be alone and secluded.  I manage this by working from home.  I am undergoing some form of spiritual growth of that I'm certain.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         Yes 


Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

when I tried to commit suicide in my early 20's.  I apparently died 4 times and was brought back 4 times. I remember a peaceful feeling so intense but I was turned away and told it was not my turn yet. I still had much to learn and experience.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

they were applicable to my experience in several areas. 

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    I will have to think on this one.  the questions mainly pertained to my experience