I was estranged from my family and entirely alone. I was living in one room of a property with no electricity or heat. I had no food and just slept. I would awake and force myself back to sleep. I wanted to die.
All I recall is looking around and found myself in what I can only describe as a canyon and it was very bright or even sunny.
The canyon was massive and never-ending and it was all I could see. It was very overwhelming and I was unsure but strangely, I was not frightened.
There were huge red sandstone colored rocks around me going all the way up to a very bright sky but the sky wasn't blue, it was white.
I looked down at the earth and it was the same red as the rocks and it was very dry and dusty.
I had on white shoes and white ankle socks and the red dusty earth was making my socks and shoes dirty and this bothered me.
I somehow could see myself in my mind's eye and I wasn't my actual age (19), I was around 3 or 4 years old. In addition to the socks and shoes, I had on a little white dress and white cardigan which had a blue band on the collar and my hair was in a ponytail with a white ribbon. I was carrying a white teddy bear.
I looked behind me to look at the huge canyon and when I turned back around the red dusty earth and huge rocks were gone and in place was a gigantic meadow as far as I could see and it was full of very bright flowers and the greenest, lushest grass. My shoes and socks were free of all the red dusty earth and were clean.
The flowers were tall like wildflowers and were every color imaginable. The flower scent was very, very strong and I was completely aware of it. My vision and sense of smell was acute and heightened. I walked through the flowers and was in total awe of them but I still wasn't frightened at being alone in a strange place. All of a sudden just like the canyon disappearing, I was standing at white arched railings about 5 feet tall like the kind you would see in a Victorian garden. Beyond the railings was a large building with a sort of domed roof, this was white too. The gardens inside the railings were immaculate and manicured. I wanted to be on the garden side of the railings.
Then suddenly I was aware of my father behind the railings and he was wearing some kind of long robe. Once again, this was white with drawstrings at the neck. He appeared to be around 25 and his hair was blonde and he looked well and healthy. He was fair haired when alive but not just as blonde as I was seeing him.
I walked up to him and I felt no fear, no joy, no elation. It was just a knowing that I was in the presence of my father. I can't describe that any better. My father looked down at me and smiled then said 'You have to go back little one, it's not your time, go back'
That was it, it ended.
When I awoke, I was very, very weak and confused but this 'vision' kept replaying back over and over and in the midst of the darkness of the room I could see the flowers and the railings and the green grass. I got out of bed and sipped on water and ate a cracker and really did believe I had a dream. However, next day it was still with me and the next and 35 years later the images are still real and somehow I know within myself that it wasn't a dream or my mind playing tricks.
One thing puzzles me; I have no idea why I appeared as a very young child and
why my father appeared also appeared younger than his age when he died.
At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event? No
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When looking at the dusty earth on my shoes and then smelling the flowers and seeing the vivid colours.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal The colours and the scent of the flowers were at a different sensory level than I would normally see and smell.
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision was sharp and images and colours were heightened.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't recall sound apart from being told to go back.
Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace, calm, serene, content, happy
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain My initial vision was of being in a canyon so I don't know if this is classed as a tunnel but the canyon albeit bright was sombre. It was as if I had to pass through this barren red earth and rock here before I arrived at the beautiful meadow with flowers.
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain The sky appeared very bright but more white than blue
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I encountered my father who had passed away two years prior.
Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
A canyon with red sandstone and earth and then a meadow with thousands of tall flowers.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes
White arched railings and I wanted to be on the other side of them.
the flower meadow was beautiful and I wasn't
frightened but I knew I would feel much safer on the other side of the railings.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)? Yes My father met me and he spoke to me.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist? Uncertain The domed white building made me think somebody very important would be inside.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love? Uncertain I'm uncertain but my father died very young and I think he appeared to send me back because of love towards me and I still feel he looks out for me.
During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives? No
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose? No
What occurred during your experience included: Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I was too young and immature to think that death was anything other than dying and that was the end. Sort of like a light switch being turned off. It was final with nothing else. I don't think that way anymore.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. Aside the dreadful conditions I was living in, which to be truthful I can't really recall but my experience is still with me in great detail
Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience: I now believe in the afterlife and talk/pray to those who have passed.
My experience directly resulted in: Large changes in my life
Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience? Yes I couldn't have cared if I lived or died, now I want to live as I know I will die when it is my time.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Have you ever shared this experience with others? No
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience was definitely real I just have a 'knowing' that it was real and is real.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time: Experience was definitely real Same answer as before, I just have a 'knowing' that it was real and is real.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? No
Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes I now talk/pray to those who have passed as I'm confident something reaches them.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Just to tell people not to be afraid of dying.
Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes I've relayed everything as accurately as I possibly can albeit it occurred over 35 years ago.