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Experience description:  

Banso and I had decided to eat at a local restaurant that my deceased wife and I liked enjoy occasionally. We went to the restaurant, sat down in a chair next to the table we last sat (when Bev was alive a few months earlier). As Banso and I talked, I started to cry. While crying I remarked that Bev and I were "sitting" there at the table near the wall and grotto. This table was adjacent to a small statue figure with light bulb that illuminated it. The statue was in a small arch shaped grotto in the wall.  As I pointed this out to Banso, the "light bulb" above the statue suddenly blinked out ..as if it was turned off.  We both noticed this.

Banso remarked spontaneously ..."see Bev doesn't want you to cry" ..just then I remarked "well if it was Bev she always turned the light on for me" ...just then the bulb went back ON.   We were both in amazement!!.    Being an engineer, I jumped up to see just if the bulb was "lose" in the socket ..it wasn't ..I could not tap it to make it go ON/OFF. In fact all the statues in similar grottos were all connected to a single light switch which I found and turned ON/OFF ..they all went on/off.    Why this ONE light decided to go OFF/ON at the precise moment ...in the context of our discussion was a mystery ...and after that event I never cried again...she was OK ..her sign to us both.  

We married after this within a month and I'm happy to say we now have two beautiful young boys with lots of energy we love dearly .....we are blessed in many ways ....thanks to Bev, whom we both love dearly to this day.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  Yes, You had to be there to appreciate the "context" of the message we received and the timing of this message. No way to describe it ...hair stood up on our arms when this happened.

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            Yes

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:   We didn't hear anything ...but an "electrical disturbance" was very clearly demonstrated to us.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  We had a sense of "knowing"  message was being conveyed. We both felt it deeply and emotionally ..beyond words.

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   None ..

Did you see the deceased?         No

No but we saw a demonstrated presence of some kind.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            We didn't see her, just the "event" of the light bulb and the timing of the "ON/OFF" right on cue for us to see in the context of our discussions with each other ....amazing.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       None

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           None ...I tested it afterwards ...the light COULD NOT be turned OFF by itself ..without effecting all bulbs in the room.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        approximately 3 minutes.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         Just a quick ...Hello...and goodbye ...that's what it felt like.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

She wanted us to **not be concerned for her** ..that was clearly communicated.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  Yes ...death is nothing to be concerned about ...

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:          Was real ...we both saw it.  Physical effect on an electrical circuit. Not sure how it could be done, but it was definitely REAL.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Yes  A bit perhaps. Felt like we were all in a "show" and this was a scene being played out for our benefit, etc.. as far as dream feelings go, that was about it.

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Went from "crying" depressed feeling to "elation" and feeling hope.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

Afterwards I no longer needed medication and to this day I'm doing well. I no longer had "fearfull thoughts" and bad memories of this bad time in my life when Bev died. I've moved on and its made us both stronger. Banso has always believed in the hereafter, and after this event I no longer doubted it.  It helped me in "consoling" my father when he died of a brain tumor in 1998 and in giving him hope of the hereafter.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      There was no BAD part...maybe the grief I felt prior ...but overall.  it was a positive experience.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes

            Describe:      I'm more spiritually "tuned in" than before.  I don't ignore small coincidences as I did before ...

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes

Not afraid of what happens after Death anymore. Physically it may be painful, but afterwards there is a new life of "some kind" ..what I'm not sure of ...but there is definitely something next.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes Death is just another "form" ..we step though a door ...as others have related ...that's how I feel now about it.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Yes, Bev and I years ago in Tucson talked about that ...I never thought about this, until your question here reminded me of it.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes it was observed by my current wife Banso

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Hope and mystery. We both felt very close and believe we were meant to see this to bring us together.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           Yes, My current wife Banso witnessed the entire event and can corroborate the whole story and event timeline and "demonstrated" presence.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes, Things seemed to "stand still" while this all happened.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes , I'm more "in tune" to spiritual messages. I have felt them from other loved ones who have since died..including my Dad, Bev's dad and friends.

Did you see a light?           Yes, The Light BULB went OFF, then ON a few seconds later (20 seconds approx).

Have you shared this experience with others?          Yes, close relatives (brothers and sister, Mom, Dad, cousins) and friends.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   Yes, I did mention this on a radio show (Laura Lee) when she interviewed an After death researcher who had written a book. I called in and related this experience

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       It was real ....

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?          I was on a tranquilizer due to trauma at the time that would blunt my "memories" of her death and intense emotions (PTSD). This would have stopped me from hallucinating. The fact that Banso also saw this confirms this experience as genuine and not in my mind alone. She was not taking medication of any kind.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No , Not at all

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes  Later when my Dad visited us after his death.  Another good story...after our second son was born.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    Good questions ..glad to help in any small way to "teach others".