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Willa P's ADC

Experience description:  

Mom died unexpectedly while I was away at college.  I got home that evening, spent time with my dad and sister, then went to bed in the bed that mom had used for many years.  I was awake, devastated, and crying very hard when I suddenly became aware of a light, or glow, and feeling of warmth.  I looked up at the doorway and Mom was standing there in her old blue bathrobe, with the most glorious smile on her face and this light sort of in and surrounding her...she asked, "Why are you crying?  I am happier than I've ever been." 

I immediately was comforted.

She had not had a easy life...she was an alcoholic and yet cared wonderfully for my handicapped sister for 19 years.  She had lost two children prior to my birth, and had given one up for adoption when she was very young.  She carried a lot of guilt for that and I think that's why she drank.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  I heard her voice.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           The same.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

She looked totally radiant and happy.  She was wearing her favorite blue bathrobe.  She was smiling with a quiet, but unmistakable joy.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            Solid...just like in life, except for the glow around her.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       All

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       The same age.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            She seemed healthy and radiant.  Better than in life, but the same age.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        Seconds.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         Sudden.  She was there, she said what she said, and then she was gone.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

Total happiness, peace, joy.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  None, except that she was happier than she'd ever been.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           It was as real as anything I've experienced. She was definitely there.  I was not asleep, dreaming, etc...I was wide awake and inconsolable until she appeared.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Acceptance, no question of it being real or unreal.  She was truly there. I was not at all frightened.  It happened so fast, and she was gone so soon.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

See above.  I was no longer grieving for her...I was still sad I wouldn't have her in person anymore, but I knew she was in a great place and that she and I would be okay. I was no longer afraid of death.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The worst was that my mother died.

The rest was that it taught me she loved me (I had known that, but it was great she stopped to see me)...and would live on, and that I would, too.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:      It made me feel secure that I would live on after this life, and that it would be good.  It took away any fear and I don't count things important unless they are related to loved ones, doing for others, etc...certainly material things are not important in the long haul.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Yes     Already mentioned several times above.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     That some of us can communicate with loved ones after we die.  That we can continue to communicate with them while we live.  That they are watching out for us. That we can talk with them and they will listen and help if it's the right thing to do.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Yes

My sister (who was handicapped) and I agreed that whichever of us went first, we'd send a sign that things were okay over "there". We did this after our mother died.  My sister died in 1988 and she sent me signs then, and has been sending them ever since...finally I said, "I get it!"

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes Not the experience, above, with my mother, but after my sister died, yes, my ex can attest to some very strange things that happened...could not have been coincidences.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Peace, comfort, happiness for her.  I wished she'd have hung around longer so I could talk to her, but it was okay that she didn't...I assumed she had a ways to go and I was happy she stopped and saw me.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

That there is life after life.  I was then certain of that.

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            No

Did you see a light?           Yes

more of a glow...very soft, seemed to be rosy...I felt the glow also...a warmth.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     I think it has helped others when they were grieving.  All have been acceptant of what I've told them; nobody scoffed...some had stories of their own to share.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       I wish everyone who has lost a loved one would have an experience like I did...it is such a comfort.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No comment

Several hours prior to it the housekeeper in the sorority house where I lived had given me a sedative of some sort when I heard Mom had died.  I don't know what it was.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    Some of them were repetitive.  Thank you for allowing me to share this.