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Xander's ADC

Experience description:  

My Grandmother had been sick for about 3 years with cancer. I moved home after college to save money and my grandmother had been living at my parents house for about 7-8 years at that point.  My grandmother had always taken care of my whole family.  Her youngest daughter has a traumatic brain injury and is wheel chair bound and she took care of ever since she was in the accident, about 12 years.  Her middle child was handicapped ever since he was 12 and passed when he was 51.  He lived at my mothers house as well but has never visited or contacted after he passed. His existence on earth was never a pleasant one, I assume he left as quickly as he could. I wouldn't have hung around here if I was him either.  As my grandmother cancer progressed she became bed ridden on our couch in the living room.  She had taken care of me when I was a little boy because both of my parents worked.  So every morning before I went to work I would make her breakfast and get coffee for her and make lunch. 

This went on for about 2 years and many of the times we would meet in the hallway at my parents house when she would be on the way to the bathroom or getting something to eat late at night, and we would say hi, and then go back to bed. This happened hundreds of times. In the last 2 months my girlfriend and I purchased our own home about 45 minutes away from my parents and my grandmother had always told our home nurse that before she passed she wanted to come see my new house.  My grandmother passed peacefully in the hospital last Thursday the 13th at 10:30am.  That weekend both my sisters came home to my parents and my girlfriend and I went to meet them and we all went to an apple orchard to spend a beautiful fall day together.  We all went to lunch and it was a very peaceful joyful day and no one spoke about my grandmother even though the reason we all came together was because of her passing.  That afternoon we came back to my parents house and I played with my nephew in the living room where my grandmother had been bedridden.  everything was normal, my girlfriend and I went grocery shopping after we left my moms and returned to our new home and unpacked.  I had finished up and heading to the bathroom. Upon leaving the bathroom I walked down a small hallway into my kitchen that is bisected by an adjacent hallway leading to my front door.  As soon as I passed the hallway into the kitchen I felt a presence of something behind me. 

My initial reaction was fight or flight, I had turned around and threw a lazy left hook back into the hallway to almost get the presence back away from me.  Upon doing this I realized that it was my grandmother shuffling through the hallway going to the bathroom.  She looked as she had always looked when I would meet her in the hallways.  Slumped over shuffling through the hallway with her blue night gown on.  She was looking down as if it was normal for her to be walking in my hallway, as if she didn't know she had passed.  I immediately recognized what I had done and instantly walked back into the hallway and sat on the bench that she was shuffling past.  At this point the apparition had disappeared but I could sense that she had sat down on the bench with me and put her arm around me.  My Grammy had always wanted to come see my house.  And she did.

She really scared me at first, hence the quick backward punch.. I sat an cried with her and then walked back into my living room where my girlfriend was watching TV. I broke down again and shook for about 15 minutes trying to rationalize what I had just seen and experienced.  Knowing that both my sisters where still at my mothers I Skyped them to tell my mom because I know she would feel comfort that Grammy came to see my house finally.  When I called my father answered and I told him I just saw Grammy and then he called to my whole family to come over to the computer.  Just before he called everyone down my oldest sister had just walked past my old bedroom and the first though that came into her head was my grandmother.  There are far to many coincidences going on for this not to have been real. I'm a very rational science driven individual. But my Grammy came to see my new home. And she brought my whole family closer together.

Was the date of the experience significant in any way?     Well no, but the whole family had gotten together to meet and go to a apple orchard. Both my sisters came, brother in law and his family and my nephew and niece.  My girlfriend came with us, my parents where there also. My mothers mom is the one who past. It was a beautiful day, we had gone to lunch and then came home to my mothers and I played in the living room with my nephew where my grandmother had been bed ridden on the couch for almost 2 years.

Details of location of experience and your activity at the time of experience:  My girlfriend and I recently purchased a new home 2 months earlier, we had gotten home from our apple picking outing with my family because my grandmother passed 3 days earlier. We just unloaded groceries and I went to the bathroom.  I had walked from the bathroom into the kitchen through a hallway when I saw my grandmother.

Degree of bereavement for deceased immediately prior to the experience:     No sadness and/or grief feelings

Degree of alertness immediately prior to experience:         Fully alert

After your experience, did you consider the contents of your experience:       Mixed

Have you had multiple experiences?   No      

Was this experience difficult to express in words?            Uncertain

I Skyped my family after the experience and had no difficulty describing the experience, other than the emotional reaction experienced.

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Uncertain

I sat down where I saw my grandmother as a gesture she would sit next to me on the bench.  I hoped that she sat and put her arm around me but I can't be quite sure. The whole experience was very frightening at the same time unbelievable and interesting.

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   Familiar, it was my grandmother, I sat down in hopes she would sit with me on the bench in the hallway of my new house.

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  No.

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  Not possible.

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

My grandma was sick for 2 years fighting cancer, she had been sick prior to the treatments but had not told anyone about what was happening to her body. So I had been living at home until I purchased my new house and my grandma was on the couch sick in the living room for years. So we would frequently meet in the hallways of my mothers house when she would go to the bathroom and I would be looking for something to eat. This happened for years, I moved home after college to save money to buy my new house. Grandma lived there since I was in high school because my uncle had been sick and they both moved in with us. So later in her life when she was sick she would shuffle to the bathroom in her nightgown and we would say hi at 12:30 at night all the time. And she always looked the same, 80 year old lady slumped over making her way to the bathroom.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            A first I felt the presence adjacent to me and when I realized what it finally was, I saw my grandmother in her blue night gown slouched over in this low light grayish overtone.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       Full apparition.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       Appeared at the age of which they died, refer to previous posts.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            She appeared to be acting normal. She was acting like she always did when we would meet in the hallway. Holding her night gown on her say to the bathroom. It took a lot of energy for my grandma to get up and off the couch and walk to the bathroom. So she looked sick, I didn't see her face she had been looking down, I don't think she even saw me really. Like it was no big deal for her to be walking in my hallway of my new house. Normal.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No way, I tried to replicate the exact parameters to re create the illusion again, on many difference occasions with difference light angles and different times of day. Impossible I tried.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        3 seconds

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         Beginning was a surprise, she had been just adjacent and slightly behind me, almost like we were bisecting paths but I was 2 steps ahead of her. So she scared me at first, so much so that I turned and through a get back punch. When I did that I realized that it was my grandmother and walked back into the hallway and sat on the bench where she was walking.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

Normal, walking

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  Information? No, but the experience was something that brought my girlfriend and I closer together. We had been fighting and she was incredibly upset with me. when my girlfriend saw my reaction to the experience she immediately knew that something drastically different had occurred. She saw a emotional side of me she had never seen before. And it opened us up. And I think my grandmother did that for me,

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was probably real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           Every time I think about it I tried to analyze from a theoretical perspective of how this could have happened. But I guess to some extent I believe the mind is a powerful thing and your vision is only your brains interpretation of the world as it can process it, so whether it was real or it was my grandma I have no problem believe in something happened. Whether my mind made it up or my grandmas energy was present with me, I believe,

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No         

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Scarred, surprised, sad, guilty


Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

She healed my relationship with my girlfriend, and she connected me closer to my family, I know my mother would want to know that her mom came to make sure that I was ok. She would find that very comforting.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Brought us closer, and it felt like she doesn't know how to leave yet.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:      In a way she helped heal my relationship, and she always took care of me, so I feel like I must be selfless in the help of others because that's what she expected from everyone.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Uncertain      Not so much changes but more of a certainty that this was real.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Uncertain      Confirmed energy presence.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Disbelief, grief, duty, guilt


Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            No

Did you see a light?           Uncertain

My grandma looked like she was being lit by a very dull grayish light.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Everyone believed me. And they told me of their experiences

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       I'm glad this site exists, it helps people.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes