EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION

It was two days after my son's funeral when my husband and I decided to visit my mother and sister at my mother's townhome. The back of the townhome was tucked into a heavily wooded area. We sat in her second level living room which had a glass patio door open to a deck. As we were talking about my son my husband noticed a mourning dove on the deck right next to the window, watching us. My mother thought it very odd since she was an avid bird watcher and had never, in 25 yrs, seen any type of dove in her backyard. My husband commented that he thought it was David looking in at us. I was somewhat skeptical about after death experiences and at the time was so into my grief I couldn't think of anything else. The dove sat there for 5 minutes when another mourning dove flew next to it and also stared at us. A few minutes later another one flew next to that one and then another one so that there were 4 mourning doves, beaks plastered to the glass door, unmoving, soundless, watching us. They suddenly had my attention because it was so unusual. The four of us stared at the four doves and then they flew to a long limb of a tree next to the deck. The doves didn't look at each other. They were all perched on this limb, in the same direction, looking towards the west. It was around 4:30, and the sun was starting to go down. Suddenly another dove flew in, sat on the branch next to the others facing the same way. Then another one came. Then another. In all there were 14 mourning doves (we counted) sitting on two large limbs next to each other facing the west towards the setting sun. None of them moved, nor flapped their wings, made any noise or even looked at each other. I stood next to the glass door watching them. They sat there for at least 15 minutes, until the sun set. I saw a large shadow coming from the sky and an enormous bald eagle swooped down just over the deck and the doves. I watched the eagle as it began its ascent back into the clouds when the first dove flew after it. Then one by one the fourteen doves left the tree and flew after the eagle, by now so high in the sky I couldn't see it. I watched until the last dove disappeared into the sky. I wanted to believe that it was a sign from my son but wasn't sure if those things really did happen.

A few minutes later we left in our car to go home. Neither one of us said a word and I started to quietly cry when I heard my son's voice calling me, inside my head. I just listened to him while he told me how much he loved me. With my head resting against the car window and my eyes closed I heard him tell me how God made the night and day, the stars, the moon, the sky. Then my son took my hand and led me into the sky and suddenly I was looking down at earth. At that time I couldn't hear his voice any longer but could understand everything he was thinking. He knew how our family wanted to see Australia together and then in a second we were looking over the Great Barrier Reef. At that point everything started happening really fast and it seemed as if he took me on a tour around the earth and before I knew it we were back where we started but ascending until I couldn't see anything. In my head I started to see pictures of David when he was a baby, then a toddler, then many other pictures whirred by really fast and I knew he was looking at his entire life. At that point I realized what was happening because my mother had told me that before her brother died he shared that he had a review of his entire life. I was crying again knowing that he was going to leave me. He took me even higher and then beyond him I could see a large area of light, with a tall building made of light and I knew that was heaven.  In my head I told him not to leave me but he said it was time for him to go, people were waiting. I could see hands reaching out towards him and then I was back in the car, feeling as if he died again, this time in front of me.

My husband asked if I was OK. I couldn't talk but just nodded. I couldn't even cry at that point, it was as if I was stunned. I even wondered if he somehow took part of my heart with him, I felt as if I was going to die. Suddenly I felt something physically enter my chest and then the most intense feelings of love, acceptance and peace overwhelmed my entire body. It was the most wonderful feeling I have ever felt, words can't give it justice. I knew then that I could survive his death and that I would somehow find a way to help others. It lingered for a couple of minutes and slowly left me but for a long time after I could recall exactly how it felt. The next morning I got a call saying that I could pick up his remains. I asked them when he was cremated. They looked it up and told me that he was cremated the day before in the late afternoon, around 4:00. Afterwards my husband and I realized that the 14 doves were symbolic. Between the 4 of us in the room there were a total of 14 people from our families that had died. I knew that David was with God and that they were with me. Since then I have had many, many signs and experiences with David and have written them all down in a journal.

Was this experience difficult to express in words? No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?          No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?       Yes

          Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:          He told me he loved me, that God created the earth, stars and moon, day and night. He also said he needed to leave, it was time. He told me many other things but much of it went by too fast for me to remember.

          Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?          Both internally and then just knowing what he was wanting me to know

          If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?    yes, the same voice

          Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? no

          Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?       no

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?       Yes

I could feel him hold my hand

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar? It felt like I was actually holding his hand

          Was anything communicated by the touch? no

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? no

Did you see the deceased?       Yes

I saw him only in my mind

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            N/A

            How much of the deceased did you see?       N/a

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?   He appeared to be the same age

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?           He appeared health and he was very happy and smiling. He looked more alive.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? no

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No

How long did the experience last?      20-25 minutes with the doves and eagle then 10 minutes in the car

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?      It all happened suddenly. When I was in the car I felt as if I was supposed to hear more but I was having problems concentrating, I kept on starting to cry.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          Uncertain

I think he was happy for himself but also sad that he died although he didn't say that. He was sad for all of us.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?          no

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          Experience was definitely real

          Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:   There were 3 others with me with the dove and eagle experience. When I was in the car I felt it was real because of what I had just experienced. Also it was so strange that I couldn't make it up. And he repeated, what I think were bible verses about creation. I never was into the bible so it's not something I would have memorized.

          Was the experience dream like in any way?  No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  Grieving, some disbelief at first, astonishment, wonder, awe, pain, a feeling of death, stunned, peaceful, loved, belief,

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? No

What was the best and worst part of your experience?     The worst, of course, was that my son was still dead. Even though I know he is always with me whether I can sense him or not, it's not the same as having him physically here.

The best is that my son wanted to be with me and felt I would be receptive to him and also that I knew he and God would always be with me and that I was here for a reason.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes                Describe:     Yes, mainly because my son died. I am more spiritual and feel I am here for a specific reason, to help people and to make sure my other children are ok.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes    I wasn't sure how I felt about after death signs from loved ones but now I certainly believe in them. I also never believed in psychic abilities but now believe in them.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?         Yes    I just felt more spiritual and believed in life after death even more.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?         No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?         I cried but felt relieved that I had a sign from David. Also I felt as if I might be losing my mind although I knew it wasn't true

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?          Yes

Part of it was witnessed by my mother, my sister and my husband

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes

Everything seemed to happen very fast, like I knew he was showing the different continents but I knew it wasn't possible to see all of them in a few seconds

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         Yes

I felt as if I needed to help others, in what way I wasn't sure

Did you become aware of future events?      Yes

Only that my son would help me survive his death

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? Yes

I have had many experiences and conversations with my son since that first experience. I have also been able to talk with my father who died six years before my son. I have been able to see my grandmother and father in my mind after they died. Since my son died everything has intensified and expanded.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?  Uncertain

not sure if that's what you call it when I felt as if I were above Earth looking down

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?          No

Did you see a light?        Yes

billowing clouds of light with tall buildings of light. I could only see it in the distance

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?     Yes

I felt as if we were on a tour around the earth

Have you shared this experience with others?      

Yes    I have shared the experience with the doves and eagle and everyone was in awe and felt that it was surely a sign. My husband was the only person I shared the car experience with. It was intensely spiritual and personal and I didn't want any negative comments from anyone. I didn't care if anyone else believed, I knew that I believed.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?       No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience? no

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?          No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?    No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?     Yes 

I almost died of an anaphylactic reaction to medication when I was 3 1/2. I only remembered parts of it when I was little but after my son died I remembered the whole event. My grandmother died when I was in my forties. I knew she was dying and one afternoon her face appeared in my mind and she told me that she loved me and wanted to say goodbye to me before she left. At first I thought I was hallucinating but then I realized that she was probably near death. I drove to the nursing home but got there right after they removed her body from her room.