Carolyn J's ADC
Home Page Share Experience New Experiences


Experience description:

It’s been ten years. Ten years since he “went fishing” the last time, June 24, 2016!

Something happened recently, well, on June 1st actually, that I want to share with you.

First, though, a little background information:

            1. Phil loved celebrating my birthday with me. In the beginning of our relationship, he simply showered me good things on my birthday. Then, he expanded the celebration to a week during which, I chose the restaurants; planned the trips; chose the menus, TV shows and music! A year or so before his death, he made the entire month of March all about me!

            2. Until now there have only been a couple of dreams when I felt like Phil was maybe communicating with me…maybe.

            3. On May 31st I was looking at my favorite picture of Phil and wishing that he could, would, let me know that he still cares…and knows…what matters to me.

            4. I am not tech savvy, and the main thing I use my iPhone for is texting or calling. My phone has a passcode required for entry. I rarely use it to listen to music although my library is connected in the cloud with the iTunes on my MacBook.

            5. My go-to song to listen to when I miss Phil is “Everything I Own” by Bread from an album we both loved. (And which Chris loved and from which he named he daughter Aubrey.)

Here’s what happened the morning of June 1st. It was was a beautiful morning, and I was out walking on a path that I like, passing pretty weeping willows, noticing a wild rabbit and hearing birds chirping. A sudden sound from my phone made me think it was about to ring, but instead, there was music!

You sheltered me from harm.

Kept me warm, kept me warm.

This wasn’t possible. Music, when I hadn’t touched the phone in 10 or 15 minutes! And that song! The song that expressed the longings of my heart. As the song continued, I began to feel that Phil was “talking” to me in the same way that I usually talked to him.

 

You gave my life to me

Set me free, set me free

The finest years I ever knew

Were all the years I had with you

And I would give anything I own

Give up my life, my heart, my home

I would give everything I own

Just to have you back again

You taught me how to love

What it's of, what it's of

You never said too much

But still you showed the way

And I knew from watching you

Nobody else could ever know

The part of me that can't let go

And I would give anything I own

Give up my life, my heart, my home

I would give everything I own

Just to have you back again

Just to touch you once again.

And then it stopped! It stopped! At the end of the message, it stopped. Where I always stop even though there is more to the song…

I was overcome with tears. My heart melted with joy and love and the sense that Phil was communicating with me…at last!

The feeling that this was real has persisted despite my having tested it in every way I know.  As I have been weighing all the impossibilities of this happening, I have allowed the possibilities of enduring love to make their arguments. And the fact that on the first day of this important month, this happened when my phone was effectively locked, and that the song that played was this one, makes me almost, totally believe that it was Phil.

 Was this experience difficult to express in words? No

 Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?       Yes

 Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?         Yes

             Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:   The song that I play to remember Phil, suddenly came on my locked iPhone. It said to me that Phil still loves me and feels the same way about how his death physically separated us.

             Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?            It originated from my locked iPhone.

             If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           It was a song on my iPhone

             Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?          No

             Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? No

 Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?           No

 Did you see the deceased?        No

 Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?   No

 How long did the experience last?       2-3 minutes

 Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?        It began suddenly when the song began and ended suddenly when the message to me lyrics of the song ended.  The song itself is several verses longer than the part played.

 Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Uncertain

 I interpreted the sending of the song to mean Phil's feelings of love for me were the same as mine for him still are.

 Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? No

 How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          Experience was definitely real

             Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:            There is no other possible explanation for it happening.

             Was the experience dream like in any way?  No      

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:          Surprise to have the song come on my locked phone. Then as it sank in, joy, tears of happiness, feelings of being loved, awareness that Phil was playing on the entire month of celebrating my birthday tradition to tell me he loves me.

 Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?          Yes

 It has been so long since Phil's death, and yet I am still deeply sad about the loss of the most meaningful relationship of my life. It sort of doesn't feel so much like he is gone completely anymore.

 What was the best and worst part of your experience?     The best part was hearing Phil tell me about how he misses me and loves me more than anything. There was nothing negative about it. I am able to play the song repeatedly now and feel much of the joy again that I felt that day.

 Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?       No      

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  No      

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Uncertain      It validated beliefs that I already had.

 Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact? No

 Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?    No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?           More and more conviction that this was otherworldly as I tried to disprove it scientifically. Sweet, happy feeling of Phil's having reached out to me to assure me that he still loves me more than anything.

 Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

 Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  No

 Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?   No

 Did you become aware of future events?       No

 Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?     No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

 Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?           No

 Did you see a light?          No

 Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?          No

 Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     The 4 or 5 people with whom I shared this experience also believe in life after death and in ADCs.  Even so, I think there is a slight skepticism from a couple of them.

 Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No

 Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?      No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?                     Yes