My experience wasn't exactly mine, but my daughter's experience, but I felt her death very closely.

I was pregnant with Oihane, and I was experiencing a very intense stage, where I was recuperating and changing from within. That night I had been crying in my bed in the company of Jon my husband, and at a certain moment I felt that I needn't cry any more, as now I had freed everything that had stuck with me since childhood.

Just at this moment I started to feel an energy, physical, real, like when passing your hand over the screen of an old type TV, that produced an immense peace and happiness. This energy ran through me directly to my body, and expanded, and rose to up above. I could feel her and touch her with my hands, I thought... What is this! And I said to Jon, Jon! Come here, come here, give me your hand, it's Oihane, she is comforting me! Oihane is comforting me! Put you hand here, do you feel it too? How strong!

It was half a minute or so, it made me so happy, so tranquil and at peace, that I quickly fell asleep.

I thought that it had been a sort of communication between her and myself, I never imagined that she had died, and didn't know that sometimes the little bodies of small babies that are no longer alive can stay in their mothers for a long time. This is how I  woke up, with the belief that I would have a second daughter, so convinced, and that our communication would always be very intense.

The 13^th April came, the day when I had to go for a second ultrasound scan, week 20, halfway through the term. From that day 2 weeks had passed, the two happiest weeks, and weeks of feeling better than ever in my whole life up to now.

The doctor said to me that  Oihane had died. That brings us to...to some two weeks.

I was admitted to the hospital straight away, they gave me two lots of tablets to try and start the contractions. She had to come out, as she would have if she had been alive. The birth of my first daughter had been chaos, and very violent, but this was another step, and I knew that Oihane was accompanying me. It was a goodbye ritual. Two days to begin the work of the birth. I was very centred on myself, doing my asanas (yoga) and at the moment I opened my arms I left myself. I let it happen. Then after several hours of waiting, everything happened very quickly, in half an hour it had been done.

I cried as much as I should cry, and I knew what her death had taught me. I felt accompanied at every moment, and I knew that she was there all the time, and I had to accept, and I have accepted, that there are some things we just don't know...that there is so much in this world that our eyes never see...

___

Mi experiencia no ha sido exactamente mía, sino de mi hija, pero yo sentí de cerca su muerte.

Estaba embarazada de Oihane, y estaba saliendo de una etapa muy intensa donde me estuve yo sanando y cambiando por dentro. Esa noche había estado llorando en la cama con la compañía de Jon, mi marido, y en un momento dado sentí que ya no tenía más por llorar, que ya había liberado todo lo que tenía atascado desde la niñez.

En ese momento empezé a sentir una energía, física, real, como cuando pasas la mano por un televisor antiguo, que producía una inmensa calma i alegría. Esa energía me atravesaba directamente el cuerpo, y se expandía, subía hacia arriba. Yo podía sentirla y tocarla con las manos, pensé..., qué es esto! Y le dije a Jon: ¡Jon, ven, ven, dame tu mano! Es Oihane, me está consolando! Oihane me está consolando! Pon aquí tu mano, tú lo sientes también? Qué fuerte!

Fue medio minuto o así, y tan alucinada me quedé, tan tranquila y en paz, que me dormí rápido.

Yo pensaba que había sido una especie de comunicación entre ella y yo, no podía imaginarme que había muerto, ni sabía que a veces los cuerpecitos de los bebés sin vida pueden quedarse dentro de la madre durante un tiempo largo. Así que desperté creyendo que tendría una segunda hija con una fuerza impresionante, y que nuestra comunicación sería siempre muy intensa.

LLegó el 13 de abril, el día que tenía que ir a la segunda ecografía, semana 20, mitad del embarazo. Desde ese día habían pasado ya 2 semanas, las 2 semanas más alegres y con más sensación de fuerza de toda mi vida hasta hoy.

El médico me dijo que Oihane yacía sin vida. Que llevaría así... Unas 2 semanas.

Ingresé en el hospital acto seguido, me dieron 2 veces unas pastillitas para ver si empezaba las contracciones por mi misma. Debía parirla, como si estuviese viva. El parto de mi primera hija había sido un caos y muy violento, pero esta era otra etapa, y sabía que Oihane me estaría acompañando. Fue un ritual de despedida. 2 días para empezar el trabajo de parto. Estuve centrándome en mi, haciendo mis asanas, y en un momento abrí los brazos y me abandoné. Permití que sucediera. Despues de tantas horas de espera, entonces, Todo se sucedió muy rápido, y en media hora ya estaba fuera.

Lloré lo que debí llorar, y sé que su muerte me enseñó. Me sentí acompañada en todo momento, y supe que ella estaba allí en alguna ocasión. y tuve que aceptar, y acepté, que hay tanto que no sabemos...que hay tanto en este mundo que existe y que nuestros ojos no ven....

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   No 

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     Las palabras amor, paz, calma, alegría, fuerza.... se quedan cortas.

The words love, peace, tranquility, happiness and power... fall short.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?           Durante su muerte en sí, y especialmente durante el parto.

During her death, and especially during the birth.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   Mayor sentimiento de estar unida a una misma energía, aunque no lo comprendía del todo...

A better feeling of oneness and an energy, although I didn't understand it completely.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   Misma visión! Pero muy distinta percepción.

The same vision! But a very different perception.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   Misma audición, o no fui consciente de ello.

The same hearing, or I wasn't aware of it!

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   Uncertain   La que se separó de su cuerpo fue mi hija, yo solo sentí que atravesaba el mío... Fue su alma, o espíritu la que dejó su cuerpo, y yo tuve el honor de percibirlo y sentirlo.

That which left her body was my daughter, and only I felt her going through mine... It was her soul, or spirit which left her body, and I had the honor of perceiving and feeling it.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Amor, paz, calma, alegría, fuerza.

Love, peace, calm, happiness and strength.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   No  

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   No  

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Uncertain   Todo el conocimiento a este respecto me vino claramente al cabo de dos semanas, cuando me dijeron que Oihane había muerto. Por esto he puesto incierto, porque no fue durante la experiencia en sí. Pero sí, claro, Oihane me enseñó tantas Verdades, entre ellas que algo más habrá de lo que nuestros ojos ven, y ese algo es fuerza y optimismo.

All the knowledge in respect of this came to me clearly, after two weeks, when they said to me that Oihane had died. This made me uncertain, because it wasn't during the experience itself. And yet certainly Oihane showed me so many truths, amongst them something more than that which our eyes now see, and this is strength and optimism.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   Esta conexión si la sentí con Oihane durante su muerte, sin aún entender, durante las dos semanas a modo de fuerza y alegría, y especialmente durante el parto con la energía universal. Fué sentir y abandonarme a esta conexión y empezó el trabajo de parto. Para mí el parto también forma parte de la misma experiencia, aunque en otra.

Yes this connection I felt with Oihane during her death, still not comprehending, during those two weeks through strength or happiness, and especially during the birth, universal energy. It was to feel and to abandon myself to this connection and then began the work of birth. For me the birth formed part of the same experience, although another step.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Uncertain  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   Sí, sin saber aún de su muerte, al sentir esa energía supe que era amor, y que este amor está muy a dentro de cada una de nosotras, las personas.

Yes, still not knowing of her death, to feeling this energy I knew that it was love, and that this love was very deep within every one of us.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   Ese amor que llevamos dentro, que es fuerza poder y alegría.

This love that we carry within, this is power strength and happiness.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience.   No comprendo del todo la pregunta, creo, pero diré que en ese momento yo acababa de entrar de lleno en un mundo que mi mente atea y científica no quería comprender ni aceptar, y que mis dos hijas (las dos!) vinieron a romper. Maite empezó (mi hija mayor, hoy tiene 9 años y sigue rompiendo mis estrictos moldes), y Oihane continuó. No puedes seguir igual después de haber sentido su muerte en mis entrañas. Son y serán mis maestras, y a mí me encanta aprender.

I don't completely understand the question, I believe, but I will say that in that moment I had just entered into a world where my scientific and skeptic mind didn't want to accept and understand, and that my two daughters (The two!) had come to break it. Maite began (my eldest, daughter she is nine and keeps breaking my strict molds), and Oihane continues. You just can't continue the same, after having felt her death in my inards. They are and will be my masters, and I am eager to learn.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of th  

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   Los cambios en mi suceden lentamente, pero desde adolescente jamás pensé que un día el 90 % de mis lecturas fueran de espiritualidad y crecimiento personal. Sigo negando la existencia de Dios como tal, pero quizás porque no me gusta el nombre, pero sí creo en una sola energía creadora de la que formamos parte y a la que todos volvemos, y creo firmemente en la reencarnación. En ello mi primera hija también tiene mucho que ver, con sus historias que me contaba en esos tiempos  y su gran percepción. Quien no va a creer a su hija? Tampoco jamás hubiese dicho que un día escribiría en una página como esta, jajaja! Y aquí estoy, por si a alguna persona le puede servir mi experiencia...

The changes in me happened slowly, but from youth I never thought that one day 90% of my reading would be on spirituality and personal growth. I keep denying the existence of God, as said, but maybe because I don't like the name, because yes I believe in a single energy, creator of that which we are a part, and where we return, I firmly believe in reincarnation. In this my first daughter was involved, with her stories that she told me around this time, and her great perception. Who is not going to believe their daughter? Neither would I ever say that one day I would write in a page like this!!! HaHaHa! And here I am, and through this I hope my experience can help someone....

My experience directly resulted in:   Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Yes   Muchos valores míos han nacido y/o crecido conmigo, pero ahora los contextualizo más y les doy mayor significado, y también he aprendido a relativizar, y perdonar a los que no son o actúan como actuaría yo. También me perdono más a mi misma y he aprendido a amarme más. Mi trabajo en la tierra ahora se ha vuelto más introspectivo, pero lo bueno es que me dejo mi tiempo para cambiar y conocerme mejor, con lo que he aprendido a entender un poco mejor el mundo y se que cuando una todas las piezas de mi puzzle y me sepa amar desde muy adentro algo muy grande surgirá de mí en esta tierra, y para esta tierra que tanto he amado siempre y continuo amando.

Yes many of my values have been born, and/or have grown with me, but now I contextualize them more and give them greater significance and also I have learned to put them into perspective, and forgive those that aren't or haven't acted as I would act. Also I forgive myself more, I have learnt to love myself more. My work on Earth, has now become more introspective, but the good thing is that I give myself time to change, and know myself better, with that which I have learned and understood, a little better about the world, and I know that one of the pieces of the puzzle is that I now know how to love myself from deep within, something very great surges from within me on this earth, for this earth that I have always loved so much, and continue to love.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   No  

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     Sentir esa energía de la que tanto se habla, de manera física y real, como en una tele antigua, cómo atravesaba mi cuerpo con amor y se elevaba y se expandía, fue la prueba que mi mente necesitaba para dejar atrás viejas maneras de pensar y actuar en mí.

EEl momento que me abrí y permití que entrara lo que fuese necesario para parir a Maite, allí también sentí una conexión profunda que me dió la valentía la serenidad y la fuerza para realizar un trabajo de parto fluïdo. Yo no lo cuento todo a todo el mundo, pero lo que sí que cuento es que Oihane me enseñó a parir. En otra vida ya sabré hacerlo, je je.

To feel this energy which I am speaking about, in a real and physical way, like an old type TV, as it flowed through my body, with love and rose up and expanded, this was the proof that my mind needed to leave behind old ways of thinking and behaving.

The moment that I opened up and allowed to enter would have been necessary to give birth to Maite, there I also felt a strong connection that gave me the courage the serenity and the strength to manage the work of a fluid labour. I don't tell everything to everyone in the world, but that which I do is that Oihane showed me how to give birth. In another life I will already know how to do it, HaHa!

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Uncertain  A pocas personas, la verdad, pero dentro de mi propia timidez, cada vez estoy más cansada de callar.o:p>

The truth is, to very few people, but within my own shyness, every time I am less reluctant to keep quiet.

DDid you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Uncertain   No directamente, sí de voces, pero mi propio ateísmo negaba la opción y me reía.o:p>

Not directly, yes in voices, but my own atheism denied me the chance and I laughed.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   Cuando pasó no entendí mucho pero me dió mucha fuerza que necesitaba. Dos semanas después lo ví clarísimo, aunque mi mente luchó conmigo para intentar clasificarlo y explicarlo, y lo he ido asimilando e integrando en mi poco a poco. Pero en todo momento lo ví como real, aunque intentara buscarle una explicación algo racional.

When it happened I didn't understand very much, but they gave me all the strength I needed. Two weeks later I could see it clearly, although my mind fought, within me to understand it, explain it, I had been assimilating it, and integrating it into myself little by little. But at every moment, I could see it as real, although I should have looked for a rational explanation..

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real.   Tengo totalmente integrado en mí esto como experiencia, y quizás por este motivo me ha llegado el line a este lugar..../span>

I have totally integrated it into myself as an experience, and maybe for this reason I have arrived at this state....

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   Sobre todo con mi hija mayor, y con mi familia más cercana, pero también con todos los demás. Pienso que la muerte de Oihane fue uno de los motivos, pero luego han habido muchos más. Esta experiencia fue una más. Muy importante, pero una más, en mi cambio de relación con el mundo.

Especially with my older daughter, and with closer family, but also with others. I think that the death of Oihane was one of the reasons, but then there had been many more. This experience was one more. Very important, but one more, in changing my relationship with the world.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   Actualmente estoy en un periodo muy introspectivo que nunca hubiese imaginado.

Yes. Recently I have been in a more introspective period, more than I would have ever imagined.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No  

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   No sé si describirla como experiencia cercana a la muerte, pues yo no moría, pero la sentí en mis entrañas, y me enseñó, un previo, humildemente, de lo maravilloso que puede llegar a ser. Como una mariposa dorada.

II don't know if describing it as a NDE is appropriate, because I hadn't died, but I felt in my innards that she was showed me a preview humbly, of how fantastic she had become. Like a golden butterfly.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?/span>   Yes  

What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you?     Así está bien. La información está en internet. A quien le tenga que llegar le llegará, y a quien no le llega es que aún no quiere saberlo. Mi madre dice que nadie ha vuelto del otro mundo para contarlo, yo siempre le digo que está lleno de gente que ha vuelto y lo cuenta, pero no nos lo creemos. Hay que vivirlo, sin más.

The information is on the internet. To those to which it should reach it will reach, and to those to which it doesn't reach it is that they don't want to know about it. My mother says that no-one has come back from the other world to tell their tale, I always say to her that it is full of people that have returned and told it, but we don't believe them. You have to live it - no more.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience?                Pienso que es tan extenso que se hace largo, o a mi se me ha hecho largo, aunque interesante. Yo no añadiría, aunque no soy la más apropiada para responder a ésto porque mi experiencia es distinta y a veces no encaja en este perfil de test, más enfocado a gente que lo ha vivido en primera persona.

Una pregunta me ha sorprendido, que yo eliminaría 100%: la raza..... La raza? No es ya un concepto obsoleto? La raza? Persona. No más.

De corazón, gracias por vuestro trabajo!

I think that it is so widespread that it has to be long, or to me it has been long, although interesting. I won't say any more, except that I am not the most appropriate to answer this because my experience was different and sometimes not fitting in with the appropriate profile, more focused on people that have experienced it in the first person.