EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION 5/1/2020:

Please forgive the length of my story, but I would like to share the entire story with you.  Thank you for the opportunity to share as I have felt a great need to do so for many years.

I was raised to love the Lord, but following my parents' divorce at the age of 5, my mom worked long hours and we had no time for church. She did her best to always teach us to love the Lord and to be good and kind, but we did not spend time studying the Word.

When I was 17, my brother took his life after battling juvenile diabetes for 25 years and fighting depression for much of his life.  It was the darkest time I could remember, but the Lord brought us through it.  One night, approximately four months after his passing, I was unable to sleep.  I looked up and a ball of light was coming towards me down the hallway into the bedroom.  It moved along the wall in the room almost as if it were trying not to wake anyone else in the house as I had the door to the room open.  As it approached my bed, it took on a full human form and I saw that it was my brother.  He looked exactly as he always did, wearing his favorite clothes, but was shining from the inside out and unlike his life on Earth, I could see he was at peace.  I saw myself sit up out of my body and I took on the same form, I looked like me, but was almost translucent, shining from the inside out.  I could see my body still on the bed, but I was sitting up.  I was so startled that all I could say was his name over and over again.  I know that I was not speaking in a human voice as it would have awoken others in the house, but it was more of speaking through thought.  He stood there for a moment and smiled at me and the only words he said were “You’re not going to throw up on me are you Fran Bod” (Fran Bod was his nickname for me – long story!).  I remember blinking my eyes as I was not sure what was happening and after doing this a few times, he was gone and I was again laying in the bed.  I wish so much I would have said more. I know I was not sleeping, because only a couple of minutes had passed since I had last looked at the clock, and I can still remember the experience so clearly after all these years.

It took me many months to discuss this experience with anyone but finally told my mom.  This experience made me long for him to appear to me again.  I thanked God for it and began reading the Word.  I gained a great interest in Heaven and the afterlife, but unfortunately this interest also eventually led me to interest in any form of communication with the afterlife.  I read books written by psychics, did psychic reading sessions, clairvoyant sessions and it almost became an obsessive hobby as I so desperately wanted to talk to him and other loved ones no longer with me.

As a young girl, approximately 7 years of age, I saw a spirit in the window of an old abandoned home near ours. I never forgot that image.  So in the midst of my new hobby, I decided to go back to that home and do research.  I took photos, did tape recordings and captured spirits (actual images of them with faces, sounds of them moving around the house) and it became a true obsession for me.  I went every weekend with my camera.  My sister and I placed flowers in the home and on their graves in front of the home. Some of the images looked friendly and others demonic.  I knew the Bible warned against such things, but I justified it in my mind that God wanted me to help kind spirits that were trapped in the home (at the time ghost hunting shows were quite popular and I believed this to be true).

Jumping ahead a few years, my husband and I now had two wonderful children that kept me very busy and though I still had an interest, I did not have as much time to spend researching the house. However, I still studied my pictures, read books and watched the many ghost hunting tv shows.  During this time, we began attending a new church and I was baptized for the first time in my life.  I was reading the Bible more and felt closer to God than ever before.  I also had what I believe was an angelic encounter that I would be happy to share at a later date if you are interested.

Out of the blue one night I had an odd dream.  I was in a theatre (like the old playhouse theatres, not a movie theatre) and I was all alone.  I had a very strange and uncomfortable feeling, then I saw a man sit up in a seat in the middle of the theatre.  He was very muscular with olive-toned skin wearing a red silk shirt.  As he sat up he just began laughing at me and would not stop.  I felt very uneasy and the laugh became louder and louder, I tried to escape the room but couldn’t, then I woke up.  I knew without a doubt when waking that it was Satan himself I had seen.  I felt uneasy, but thought, it’s just a dream.  A week or so later I had another odd dream.  I was with my high-school boyfriend who I had not seen in years.  He was crying and held up his hand to me and carved on his palm was a cross.  This was a relationship for which I carried much guilt as I ended the relationship and had never forgiven myself for hurting him.  (Two greatest areas of guilt in my life were not being there for my brother and hurting this young man).  When I awoke from the dream, I felt God was telling me that he was hurt and needed help.  I could not act on this feeling however as I was happily married and had not spoken with him in years.  Ironically, a few weeks later my husband was out of town on business (which was very rare) and out of the blue an old friend from high-school messaged me on Facebook to ask if I was still married.  I knew the only contact we had in common was this young man.  He told me that it was the young man who asked him to contact me and that he was getting divorced.  I immediately thought, yes, God was telling me that he was hurt and now wants me to help him.  The young man somehow obtained my phone number and we spoke.  I hid the communication from my husband as I was afraid he would be angry.  He later discovered the truth and I confessed that I had spoken with this man.  It was a dark time in my marriage (no infidelity, but a lack of trust).  It took quite some time for us to heal, but the Lord saw us through and we are closer now than ever. To this day, I still feel other forces were behind the experience.

A few months later, again when my husband was out of town, I read the Bible before going to bed and turned out the lights.  I was awoken by movement in my bed.  At first I was not alarmed as my husband tosses and turns a lot, but as I awoke more I remembered I was alone and when opening my eyes, although the room was dark, there was enough moonlight that I could see something walking or moving on the bed (indentions in the mattress), then I saw a dark mass.  It threw me on my back and was on top of me.  I could not breathe, I could not move (not even lift a finger), I could not speak, I was paralyzed completely.  I tried to inhale, but my muscles would not work.  I was suffocating and I thought this is it, I am dying, this thing is killing me.  I could not scream for help and my children were sleeping down the hall.  I was terrified. Then, all of a sudden, a light entered the room, I did not see a figure, but there was light, I could see the room clearly.  Then I just began reciting Psalms 23 “The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want” over and over.  I could not speak it as I was paralyzed, but I was screaming it in my mind, almost in the same manner I was speaking to my brother years ago.  These words were not from me as Psalms 23 was not a scripture I had memorized.  They were coming from another source.  The more I screamed it, the weaker the being became.  It leapt off me and then took on the figure of a young boy sitting on my bed; at this point I still could not move but could breathe.  I could only see the boy from the back as it was facing the wall. It frightened me as it looked a lot like an older version of my young son.  When it turned around, it had the face of a beast.  The only way I can describe it is the face of a dragon, completely black other than the whites of its eyes and its teeth.  It was horrific.  It growled at me; I had never been more terrified in my life and my body still felt too weak to move.  I continued screaming the scripture and it leapt off the bed to the doorway of my bedroom.  I could then see it completely.  It was about 5 to 6 feet tall, completely black with webbed wings.  It had the skin of a dragon or dinosaur.  It stared at me and growled and hissed at me, I could sense the intense hatred and anger it had for me.  A few moments later it disappeared.  I remember laying there terrified, but then had a complete sense of peace that everything was ok.  I was weak, but able to move; however, it was as if all energy had been drained from me. 

I questioned for some time my sanity and was afraid to share my experience as some would refuse to believe it or think it was a figment of my imagination or a dream.  I then came across an article on sleep paralysis, which resembled so closely my experience and to this day I believe is an encounter with a spiritual being, not being trapped between various levels of sleep.  I destroyed all my books, tape recordings, etc.  I have never gone near the home again and never will.  I begged the Lord for his forgiveness and thank him always for letting me have this experience, for shutting the door I should never have opened.  I now know God protects us from what is on the other side of the curtain and the warnings in his Word are for our protection. 

I now have a wonderful sense of peace and I feel His presence always.  I am not sure of the reason, but for approximately a year after this experience, God showed me many visions (one of which occurred on the night my dog passed away); many seemed to reflect the Lord's coming.  I am a shy and private person and do not know how to share them; however, if you are interested, I would be happy to share them with you.  I asked a pastor years ago what I should do with visions and he advised me that they are between me and God and that I am not to share them; I got the feeling he didn't really believe me.  If that is true, then why am I so pulled to share them?  I struggle with this and am not sure of what He wishes for me to do.  I have not had a vision in several years; I question if they stopped because I have not shared them. 

Again, I apologize for the length of this description, but thank you for your time and for allowing me the opportunity to share these experiences with you.  I am forever changed because of them and I wish so much I could use them to help others.  God Bless you and your team and all the wonderful work that you do.

Fran

Was this experience difficult to express in words? Yes

It was difficult to describe my out of body experience as I saw myself sit up out of my body when he approached my bed.

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?     No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

          Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:   I was so startled that I kept repeating his name.  He smiled at me and then I heard my brother's voice (though it was not verbal, but more telepathic) clearly say "You are not going to throw up on me are you Fran Bod?"  As noted in my description, this was his nickname for me as he used to tease me a lot growing up.

          Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?     I heard his voice, but we seemed to be speaking to each other telepathically rather than externally.  I was screaming his name and feel if external, it would have woken my grandmother.

          If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?     It was the same voice he had when alive.

          Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   No

          Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?         No

Did you see the deceased?       Yes

He looked the same as he did at the time of his death (age 28) and was wearing his favorite clothes.  The only difference was he was glowing from the inside out; I could not see through him, but it was as if he were translucent or light was shining outward from him.  I also took on that appearance when I sat up outside of my body.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            Somewhat transparent (or glowing), but otherwise the same.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       He was standing at the foot of my bed, so I could see him from just below the waist up, but feel he was fully there.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?           He appeared the same age (28)

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            He suffered from diabetes and depression.  I could sense his happiness and peace during the visit.  He had moments of happiness when alive, but was never at peace.  That was the one thing that was very different during the visit.  His appearance was beautiful.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No

How long did the experience last?      I remember looking at the clock just before it happened and then I looked just after and I believe it was only approximately 5 minutes that had passed.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?       Gradual, I could see the light approaching and then I blinked several times before he disappeared.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          Yes

He was so happy and at complete peace.  He was his usual self and grinned and expressed humor as he teased me that I may throw up on him.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  No

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          Experience was definitely real

          Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:   After so many years, I can recall the experience in vivid detail.  I know, without a doubt, that I was awake.

          Was the experience dream like in any way?  No

What did you feel (while awake) immediately prior to your experience? Relaxed         

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  Startled, somewhat afraid in the beginning because I did not understand what was happening.  I was not afraid of him, but almost in shock of what was happening. I felt so much love and comfort from him, but could not get my words out, which I regret now.  The experience gave me peace as I did carry guilt for his death because my last words to him were not kind the day he died.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes

It helped me to let go of guilt I was carrying

What was the best and worst part of your experience?          The best part was seeing my brother happy and at peace.  Many believe that when you commit suicide you do not go to Heaven, but this reassured me that he was with the Lord.  The worst part, was not saying all the things I wish I said.  Outside of the experience, the worst part was by far my mistake of researching the paranormal and being attacked by a dark entity.  However, that experience was a blessing and has changed my life and brought me closer to God.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes                Describe:     I was able to let go of the guilt I carried for not helping my brother the morning he died.

I was 17, staying with my Grandmother as she lived alone and was frightened to be alone at night.  She lived next door to us, and all of us spent much time there.  I was lying in bed with the door to my room open, through which I could hear and see my Grandmother if she needed me.  The house was dark, but enough light was shining through the window to allow me to see the clock next to my bed.  I looked over, and though I cannot now recall the exact time, it was sometime between 1:00 and 2:00 am. 

I then saw a small ball of light traveling down the hall that entered into the bedroom, it was moving towards my room rather quickly.  Although it was only a ball of light, I somehow knew it was my brother.  I remember screaming out his name, but my screams somehow were not being heard by my Grandmother who was in the next room (again my door was open).  As the ball of light reached my room, it then turned and went along the wall rather than straight to my bed, almost as if it was trying not to wake my Grandmother.  The ball of light grew larger and when the light reached my bed, I clearly saw my brother.  I am not sure if he was only apparent from the waist up, or it was because he was standing at the end of the bed, but I only saw him from the waist up.  He was wearing white pants and a purple shirt, one of his favorite outfits, and the exact outfit my mom chose for him to be buried in. He was almost transparent, glowing, as if he had a light bulb inside of him. 

It was then that I saw my body sit up outside of it self. I was still laying in bed, but part of me sat up, almost as if I were transparent like him at the time.  I laying in bed could actually see myself sit up, it is hard to explain.  I wasn't frightened of him, but afraid of what was happening, as it was so unexpected.  All I could do was yell out his name, I was in such shock that I didn't say any of the things I now wish that I had said.  He smiled at me, he was so at peace (which he rarely was in life-he was sick with juvenile diabetes and very troubled).  He smiled so beautifully and laughed saying to me, "Fran Bod, (My nickname from him (long story)) you're not going to throw up on me are you?"  He then stood there and smiled at me, I kept opening and closing my eyes as I was sitting up because I was so amazed.  All of a sudden I opened and closed them again, and he was gone and I was again laying in the bed in the dark. 

My heart was racing and I couldn't understand why my Grandmother had not been awakened, I then looked at the clock to see if I had been sleeping and the time was less than five minutes from the time I had looked at it before the experience.  I of course at first doubted myself, was it real or a dream, but it was so vivid and it stays with me everyday.  I can see it as clearly now as I could then.  I know it was real and he was letting me know he was at peace.  My mother had a similar experience about one week later, although she and I did not share our experiences with one another for months later.  My sister also had a similar experience years later.  I feel so thankful that God has given us this blessing.  I never doubted God or that there was a heaven, but now I have seen the peace and beauty that comes to us when we leave this world.  I wish everyone could experience this.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    As above, he smiled and laughed at me saying, "You're not going to throw up on me are you?"

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  It is hard to describe, I heard his voice, but I don't think he spoke to me verbally as we do in this life.  It was more as if I could hear his voice and words, but it was through a sense of knowing what he was saying rather than actually hearing it.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           Exactly the same as it was when he was alive

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No, only other person in the house was my Grandmother, who was female and asleep.

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

Looked exactly as he did when he was alive, same age as when passed, 27.  He was wearing his favorite outfit, which he was buried in, his hair and features were all the same.  He was bright and transparent, however, like there was a light bulb inside of him.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            Somewhat transparent.  Skin tone and color of clothes easily seen, but it was like a light bulb was inside of him, glowing from the inside out.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       From waist up, but he was standing at the end of my bed, so he may have been complete in appearance.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       Appeared to be the same age, 27.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            Perfectly healthy and happy.  He had extreme neuropathy of the legs, but had not yet lost his legs when he died.  I could not see him from the waist down as he was standing at the end of my bed.  He was very happy though, which he was not when he died.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        It had to be less than five minutes, as I looked at the clock before and after the experience.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         Sudden

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

Happy and at peace

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           It was so vivid, different from a dream.  I was AWAKE and can recall every part of the experience.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Not really fear, but total surprise.  I was happy, but afraid of why I was experiencing the event.  The event was so quick, I didn't have time to experience the happiness and excitement I think I would feel during the experience were I lucky enough to experience it again.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           N0 comment

Yes, even though I knew he was with God, others say that those who commit suicide do not go to heaven.  Once I saw the happiness and peace in him that night, there is absolutely no doubt that he is with God.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Best-seeing how happy he was

Worst- it was over so quick and I now long to connect with him again

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:      I feel I am more spiritual and more in touch with God than before, I now cherish each and every moment with those I love           
             
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     Less of a fear of death

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     I fear dying too early (not seeing my children grow, etc.), but I do not fear death in general anymore.  I understand the happiness that awaits us.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Amazed, happier and more at peace knowing he was ok

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes

I have since felt the presence and seen ghostly beings at an abandoned house near where I live, I also have pictures of those beings.  I had seen a ghostly being at this house as a child though.  I do feel much more in touch with the spiritual world, and more often feel the presence of those I love who have passed around me.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

I watched myself sit up from my body, which was laying in bed. I too was glowing at the time.

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?       No

Did you see a light?           Yes

Bright, white light.  He presented as a ball of light and then once he reached my bed he was in his body form, but with light shining from the inside out.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     Surprised, depending on their beliefs, some believe it was real and some believe I saw what I needed to see in my own mind.  Until you truly experience such an event, I don't think you can understand.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?            Yes

Hello From Heaven website years ago

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes