Harvey J DBV
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Experience description:

This is my account of what my mother described to me on her deathbed.  She was dying of breast cancer where her liver had shut down.  She was at home alone with my father and I, I am an only child. My mother's name is Rita. We thought she had maybe a few more days until death, not 6/7 hours later, as it turned out. My mother was in extreme pain and was not saying much.  She would say water, or ask me to move her arms but mostly just look at me.  I know she was lucid because 2 hours earlier, her hated sister in law dropped by from 6 states away and had no idea of my mothers condition and walked into the living room and my mothers eyes lit up in quiet fury and she gave me the look of death, (proverbial anger) like wth is SHE doing here, you could almost see  on her face 'Good God, on my deathbed this wench shows up here, get her the F out'  She said it with her eyes. It took a lot to give that look in her current state and I was embarrassed for her and ushered my aunt out of the area.  Therefore, I know she was thinking, despite fighting off the pain and trying to die. Later on. we were alone in my bedroom, the door was mostly closed. About a few hours later, around 3 in the afternoon, she was staring at the foot of the bed and out of nowhere asked: 'Who's that?'  She hadn't said a word in 3 hours. I did not answer at first cuz i wasnt sure what she said. She waited a minute, and said who's that? again without looking at me.  I looked real hard in the direction of her gaze, saw nothing and said 'No one Mom, its just you and me in here. There was lint in the air + sunshine where she was looking, but I could see or sense Nothing.  She waited another minute, and without smiling or anything, simply said : 'It's Nicholas'.  so, I assume it must have told her who it was. I checked, we have no family members I know of named Nicholas, her younger sister had a boy twin who died prematurely.  He was never named.  7 years later on the day of an unknown massive stroke that occurred later the same day, my grandmother experienced communications from my Mom, (her daughter).first, at noon at church, then at 8 PM my Grandmother witnessed her own Mother (my Great Grandmother) speak to her minutes before she had a massive stroke that took her life 3 days later. Her boyfriend was sitting with her in church on the day of the stroke. None of us knew she would have a stroke that evening. she was 92 at the time. So, take that for what it is. Her BF said he heard her talking as they were sitting in the pew before church was to start, as people were sitting down.  He asked her who she was talking to?  And she said 'Its Rita' (my mom) 'she is walking down the aisle' (beside the stained glass windows on the left)'She is asking me to come with her' Nothing else happened, and he shrugged it off. Then later that night they were watching the news together and her BF said that he heard her talking again to someone. He said she was looking in the direction of the picture window, so he asked her who she was talking to? (For the 2nd time that day) She said 'It's my Mother'(deceased 1975) 'She is outside the window asking me to follow her' He said she said 'I told her I cannot go with you Mom, I'm alive!'  He said that was the last thing she ever said because he asked her something else and she started mumbling. He looked at her and a small bit of drool was coming out of her mouth. He called an ambulance, and we were with her for 3 days until she passed.  She wrote some things on a piece of paper about pain from shoulder injuries sustained by the paramedics who tried to revive her when she was limp right after the incident, but nothing else was said.  We all felt the  testimony given by her younger and mentally stable boyfriend was accurate and reliable. 

Was this experience difficult to express in words? No

 Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?          No

 Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?       No

 Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?       No

 Did you see the deceased?       No

 Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No

 How long did the experience last?      primary experience was 3-4 minutes tops but the entity could have stayed a good long time because my mother stared at the foot of the bed for a good 30 minutes after she told me who it was

 Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?      Seemed to go on but I cannot tell because after identifying the entity by declaring its name, my mother did not say anything more for 4 more hours until she breathed her last breath, exhaling the word LOVE very slowly, then dying.

 Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          Uncertain

 She was trying to hold the pain back and simply die, but struggled for almost 2 full days.

 Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?          just named the entity after it told her its name

 How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          Experience was definitely real

           Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:   It took a LOT of energy for my mother to say anything during the last day of her life, for her to perk up a bit and ask who was at the bed was surprising, given that she was only saying 1 word every 4 hours. Things like water. or shake her head no or yes when we asked her anything- not giving a verbal response until the entity showed up, then my mother spoke.

           Was the experience dream like in any way?  No

 Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  I was mystified.  Didn't see it coming.

 Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Uncertain

 After her passing and funeral, I was better able to comprehend it because so much was going on

 What was the best and worst part of your experience?     Best - That someone (an entity) came to see my mother on her deathbed.   Worst - however I got no positive affect from her during or after. That I could see nothing in the room.

 Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Uncertain                 Describe:     I have seen near miracles in revival cases in EP cath labs nationally and personally know a colleague who is considered a medical miracle by the very doctors whose x ray equipment he serviced.  To this day, the doctors maintain he should be a vegetable at best. Yet he is around fixing their fluoroscopic x ray equipment and telling all of us we are all connected and the other side is reality. This side is the dream.

 Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?    Uncertain     mother said only a week earlier that earth is really hell, suffering as she did her entire life. other diseases were present her whole life from day 1. She had an OBE at age 8 after a 3 day coma due to being given too much anesthesia during ear surgery, emerging 3 weeks later with type 1 diabetes.  In the 1950s very few children got insulin, but a Carnegie family had a  daughter with type 1 diabetes and donated $ for a group of 60 kids who then were put on a free program to receive some of the 1st insulin for children in the US. She also eventually lost functionality of her kidneys. Dialysis for some years. etc.

 What emotions did you feel during the experience?         After her passing and funeral, I was better able to comprehend it because so much was going on.

 Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?          No

 Have you shared this experience with others?       Yes    People think I'm loopy. Some think its best not to discuss. I tell them to wake up. A very few are open.

 Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?       No

  Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience? The 2nd night after mothers death, my father was awake in his bedroom around 4 am, looking at the ceiling fan and thinking about Mom.  He said a glowing orb all of a sudden came through the wall, floated from the right wall to about a yard or so into the room , hovering about 3 inches from the ceiling. It paused for a second or two, then went right back hence it came in the same way, disappearing into the wall.  He said he felt it was Mom, telling me it was about the size of a golf ball, with a blue green semi transparent essence to it.  He has never told me anything unusual in his whole life, so I believe him.  He said it was Mom saying goodbye. Real? Manifested by his mind? I don't know.

 Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?          Yes

 morphine oral drops for mother every 4 hours or less

 Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?    No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?     No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?                     Yes

 Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.       Add a box for a witness to the communication. Many people see things on their deathbeds and aren't around to put it onto your site!