I have had many 'odd' things happen over many years when members of the family have passed on. My mum passed away on the 11th June 2017 unexpectedly at the age of 61. She was supposed to come over to my house on 11th June and travel down to Cambridge with me (I had a meeting down there on the 12th and 13th June). I remember sitting in my living room in the morning feeling quite grumpy however there was no clear reason why I should have felt like this. I had an overwhelming sense of something very significant having happened (felt like it blew through me if that makes sense). I looked around my living room to see what had changed and could see nothing so looked at the clock to make a note of the time in case this should prove useful later on (10.05). I then could not get a thought out of my head that continually came back. This thought was telling me that when my mum doesn't come over at 3 o clock I will wait until 4 o clock and then go to her flat and find her. I kept dismissing this thought as very disrespectful to my mum until she didn't turn up at my house as agreed at 3 o clock. I waited until 4 o clock and then went to her flat and found her. The funeral was on the 27th June. On the 8th July at 4.45 pm I was sat in my living room with my two daughters who were watching the television. I was looking towards the television when I noticed a black dot in the corner of my right eye. I assumed that this was a fly or something like that, however when I turned to look toward where the black dot was I jolted and gripped the arm of my chair with both hands in shock. One of my daughters asked me if I was OK however I couldn't answer her and had to keep watching what was in front of me. I had never seen anything like it. It was sold grey (not transparent), about 5 foot in length and just under a foot in width and was sort of a long worm shaped object with a sharp long point at either end. It was moving downwards from the ceiling towards the floor in a waving fashion. It moved beautifully with an accompanying peace (a peace that have no words to describe). The nearest word to describe what accompanied this strange sight is bliss, however it is not really getting anywhere near the 'peace' that was with the sight that I observed. As this sight got nearer the ground it started to disappear about a foot off the floor. The last part of it sank into this invisible line a foot off the floor and as it went I was told with no words that 'You do not need to grieve for her'. The whole experience took about half a minute.

At that moment I felt fine and the burden of grief had gone. Less than a month after my mum had gone and I felt happy. I miss her but I can't grieve for someone who is existing in that 'peace'. I felt like I had won every lottery ever invented, the luckiest person alive. My husband tried to mention that I'd seen something to his mum the next day, however she said that she felt sorry for me and that it must be very hard. I felt quite sad about this reaction and generally don't tell people because they will make the same assumption about my mental state. I was not on any medication, drunk, in some desperate crying fit or any other extreme on the 8th July. I was grieving, but I've grieved for other family members including my gran who I also found like I found my mum. I was very close to both of these people yet I didn't see anything with my gran (lots of light bulbs popping, sense of being watched but nothing visual). I am creating artwork on what I saw just to share it with others (although I can't openly say what is inspiring these drawings and paintings because most people will not understand). While I was clearing out my mum's stuff from her flat I came across a sketchpad that she had be using shortly before she passed away. She was an art teacher so did a lot of art in her own time. I came across some pen drawings and said to my husband and daughters that the drawings were not that different to what I saw on the 8th July. I have put them on my art blog below one of my own drawings based on what I saw. Movement downwards 2 is the one which includes my mum's art work that is so similar to what I was watching on the 8th July. I should also mention that my mum promised that she would let me know that she was OK after she passed away if it was possible. I was eight at the time (43 now) and we never talked about this since I was 8.

I may add that two days later I invited my old best friend of nearly 40 years over.  I explained to her what I had seen and she couldn't believe the difference in me.  She said that I was my old self and 'normal'.  I told her the difficulty from now would be playing the part of grieving daughter when I don't feel grief.  Today I miss my mum but don't have any grief. We were close and did a lot together.  I was there when her life became very difficult at the end. However there have been occasions when I've felt she's around including my younger daughter who saw a shadow figure pointing at our bookshelf in our living room on 30th March 2018.  We found a letter in a book on the bookshelf that we didn't know was there that was very specific to something that someone we knew was going through.  Further details of this would have to be discussed privately.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?     Yes  Unspeakable peace that doesn't exist in this world and being given a message with no words.

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?        No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?       No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?       Yes

Sense of being touched on the head.  Still get this from time to time now.

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar? Just like my mum would touch my head.

          Was anything communicated by the touch? I'm here.

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No.  This was my mum.  I didn't really know what I was looking at because it was unusual.  There is nothing that discusses the apparition I was seeing. It's only when I saw my mum's sketch pads that it sunk in in terms of what I saw.

Did you see the deceased?       Uncertain

It looked like my mum's art

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            Solid medium grey and solid.  5ft in length and just under a foot in width.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       The object that I saw was all of it and I watched it descend into the invisible floor (about a foot off the actual floor).

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?   It appeared as my mum had drawn it.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            Couldn't tell because it was her art.  The unspeakable peace showed that any concerns in this world were not of immediate concern.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No

How long did the experience last?      about 30 seconds

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?      It was just there and then I watched it descend into the invisible ground

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          Yes

Unspeakable peace that this world doesn't know (and that doesn't explain it at all).  Words get in the way.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?          My mum was very unhappy  for many years of her years.  The last years were very bad.  The unspeakable peace that no words can describe were reassuring.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          Experience was definitely real

          Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:   It was in front of me in my living room.  It was unlike what I thought a paranormal experience would be and while it was happening I tried to understand what I was looking at.  Also the unspeakable peace was overwhelming.  I see life differently now including no grief.

          Was the experience dream like in any way?  No

What did you feel (while awake) immediately prior to your experience? Relaxed        

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  Confused because it didn't fit into any preconceived idea of the paranormal.  Then I watched it move.  It was lovely and moved downward into the invisible floor.  As I watched it I felt the burden of grief lift from me.  The end message with no words finalized my feelings.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes

I felt absolutely fine after.  Had a barbeque and enjoyed it more because I didn't have the background worry in mind that when I die that's it. That's why I felt I'd won every lottery ever invented.  Let's face it, when do you get a vision of a world/existence that is not this?  Yes, while I watched it I thought 'science can't cope with you' which is true, but it doesn't make it therefore false.  This happened.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?     It was all good.  Unspeakable peace, sense of timelessness and what is important.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes                Describe:     I understand a bigger picture.  I think that after what I saw there must be a possibility of something bigger.  I have been an agnostic  but after that I think I will leave my mind very wide open