My father died just before I turned 17. I am the youngest of three siblings and the only one still living at home at the time. I was present with my mother when he had a massive heart attack in our kitchen.

Sometime after his death - possibly within a few weeks and no more than a few months - I had two very vivid though short dreams. First, I dreamt he was standing in front of the window in our kitchen where he died. He didn't say anything and there was a bright light shining from behind his head. I had a feeling of calmness, comfort, love and connection to him.

The second dream was a bit longer. I dreamt of a beautiful valley with lush green grass, beautiful wildflowers, green forests on either side opening to a wide meadow that went on to a body of water far in the distance. The sky was blue with big white clouds and I could feel the sun and a warm breeze. To my left was the back side of a red barn. I can still picture all of this very vividly. As I saw this in my dream, I heard my father telling me that I could still talk to him, that it would be just like talking on the telephone with him. I didn't see him, but I felt that the picture I was seeing of the valley was where he was or how he wanted me to picture where he was.

For a long time after his death, I didn't think about what that dream really meant. Not until I was much older, in my forties, did it occur to me to actually talk to my father and have the conversations with him he told me we could have in my dream. I started doing that but have not had dreams about him that I can remember, nor have I heard his voice. I recently thought about a symbol and told my dad, through my thoughts, that if I saw this symbol I would take it to mean he is somewhere accessible to me, somewhere that he can hear me when I speak to him in my thoughts. Within a few days, I saw this symbol unmistakably and was deeply affected by the sight of it. It has happened a few times since, too.

Was this experience difficult to express in words? No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?      No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

          Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:   in the second dream: I heard my father speak to me in a dream. He told me we could continue to talk to each other, like having a conversation on the telephone.

          Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?     I heard the voice in my dream, originating externally from me.

          If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?     similar/the same

          Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   no

          Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   not other than the fact that I was asleep/dreaming

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?         No

Did you see the deceased?       Yes

in the first dream: standing, calm, still, with a bright light from behind his head; same shape, build, height as in life

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            solid, but features not clear due to the light

            How much of the deceased did you see?       from just below his waist up; he was standing behind the kitchen table

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?           the same age

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            healthy

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   no, but it was in a dream

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No

How long did the experience last?      first dream: very brief, maybe one minute or less; second dream: a few minutes

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?       I don't recall

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          Yes

he was calm, not distressed or in pain, confident based on what he was saying (in second dream) or how he was standing (in first dream)

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  I feel like he gave me a picture of what heaven or an afterlife might look like in the second dream, or what it looks like from him, or what I expect it to look like, or even what he thinks or thought I would expect it to look like

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          Experience was definitely real

          Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:   They were dreams, and dreams happen for everyone. I want to believe it was my father communicating with me. I also respect that our brains are extremely complex, and as much as I want to believe it was real I still have some doubt because it is not solid proof that he was communicating with me.

          Was the experience dream like in any way?  Yes

it was a dream 

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  calmness, curiosity, love, connection to my father

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes

It has helped me feel like I can connect to my father who I didn't know as well as the rest of my family, since I am the youngest.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?          The best was and still is the comfort it brings me. The worst is probably that there is still a possibility it was just my brain doing what it does - making things up!

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Uncertain                 Describe:     Maybe - I feel a much greater connection to my father, more happiness by talking to him in my thoughts

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?      Uncertain     Only much later in life (decades later) did I actually consider doing what my father said in the dream, communicating with him

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?         Uncertain     I want to believe in life after death, but I am unable to without solid proof

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?    No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          immediately following, I don't recall, but as I have grown older I find great comfort in it

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?          No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         No

Did you become aware of future events?      No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?      No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?   No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?   No

Did you see a light?        Yes  in the first dream, a very bright light emanating from behind my father's head

Have you shared this experience with others?       Yes    They respected and liked my experience and shared their own dreams and experiences.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?         No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?          No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?       No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?           Yes



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