My dad passed away July 6, 2018 because of liver cancer. when he was diagnosed, it was too late, it all happened so fast. his body began deteriorating. everyday there's changes, getting worse and worse. I know because my dad observed it. he wanted to know what was happening to him, he wanted to keep track of his changes, physically, inside and out. he lost weight because he had no appetite and he was in extreme pain. so much pain that he even wanted to commit suicide (if only it's not a sin). so much pain that he wanted to leave me, we were very close. I was his happiness and he was mine. he knows stuff about me that the other family members don't know. I can confide and have confided things in him because I know he will not judge me and he understands. I think it was after a month since the diagnosis that he has passed away. he was very healthy before and so active. he had beautiful straight teeth, very strong. so he lost a lot of weight to the point that there's only skin and bones. he looked 20 years older than his age and he was so frail. he can barely walk. he needs assistance just from lying down to sitting position. his head looks like the outline of a skull, he had no energy. he was on morphine the last 7 days of his life and the doctor kept on adding the dosage because he couldn't take the pain and knowing my dad, he had very high pain tolerance. he would scream and moan at night and cant sleep because of the pain. when he swallows, its very painful so he didn't eat anything for several days. he was in worst shape. the tongue, oral cavity was very dry and the tongue started to change its color to black, lips are cracked because of dryness.. the skin very dry. he was only 61 but he looked like almost 90.  

I expected my dad to come visit me through a dream or something because he knows how sad and lonely I was. when he passed away, I was willing and very ready to leave the earth as well if God permits. that's how badly I want to be with my dad.  

so 3 months exactly after he passed away, I saw him in my dream. at first, I thought it was real, he was with his brothers talking and having a good time then I approached him, he was sitting so he stood up and faced me, his words were, 'I am now healed Lilian' (he's the only one in the family that calls me Lilian, not Lil, not Lily, not Yan, not Lils but Lilian), after uttering these words I hugged him and he hugged me back, we hugged very tightly and I was sobbing, his face by the way was relaxed, he was happy, he was smiling, no sadness at all. I hugged him very tight (I missed him so so so much!). after we hugged, I looked at him, I told him, 'don't smoke anymore.'. then I looked at him again, I looked at his face because this was the moment I've been wanting and waiting since he left, I want to see his face again, I want to see how he is doing,. so when I looked at his face, I realized then that it was not reality, that he just came to visit me because his face was flawless, he looked really good, my dad was a very good-looking man, his skin was whiter or fairer should I say? his color before was very tanned but he was lighter now, his skin and they looked perfect. he looked a lot younger, he passed away at 61 but then he looked like 85 when he passed away but in my dream, he looked like he was in his late 40s. That's when I realized that my dad just came to visit me.  

when I woke up, I woke up right away after my dream, I felt relieved because for the longest time, I wanted my dad to come visit me. to assure me that he's okay. to let me know how he was doing, to remind me that he has not forgotten his little girl. 

p.s. when I dream, I forget about it right away even if I tell myself to remember it but this time, it was different, its as if it really did happen in reality. I could remember every single detail of my dream. it was 7 months ago, the 1st dream that I had, this dream that I was telling you about but I can still remember it, it's as if , it was a real experience in my waking life. by the way, no one else in the family has ever dreamt of my dad. he knew I needed it, that I needed to see him and hug him, he knows the longing I feel and how alone and lonely I am even today. my 3 other siblings are married and have kids, my mom has a partner. I am single, no kids, I have no one, though I know my family's there for me and loves me, it's different now because my partner has gone away. he was the number 1 man in my life, no one ever loved me the way he did. he was my happiness.. I have no regrets when he passed away because I was able to show him how important he is to me, how I love him and how much I cared for him. I showed him how much I loved him in words and in actions.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?        No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?       No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?       Yes

I was in my room and I was watching the video that was filmed during his wake and up until he was buried. I was crying a river, I lying on my side while watching and crying when I suddenly felt a very cold sensation on my elbow, I stopped watching and focused my attention on my elbow, I as thinking maybe my there was something cold that my elbow has touched but no, there was nothing, I knew then he was with me, he watched me watching the film. he has seen how heartbroken I was and he wanted to comfort me.

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar? it was unfamiliar at 1st because it was my first time experiencing that. the sensation was cold, very cold, it's as if my dad touched my elbow to let me know that it's okay.

          Was anything communicated by the touch? I think, I know he wanted to console me because this happened less than a month after he passed.

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? no.

Did you see the deceased?       No Response

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? Yes

          What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?          smoke/cigar/something burning.. he was a smoker, he only stopped a dew weeks before he passed away and my dad started smoking maybe 14 years old.

          Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?   yes, it smells like cigarette or something burning..

          Was anything communicated by the smell?  I don't really understand the question.

          Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?         no because I was inside the hospital room, I was asleep and this happened, oh I just remembered, this happened at the exact time my dad has passed away. I looked at the time after I was really sure that I wasn't imagining or hallucinating. I knew it was him. I was awaken because of the burning/smoke smell.

How long did the experience last?      about 5 minutes or less

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?      gradual, at 1st it was not as strong and then I kept on inhaling and inhaling because I wanted to 'decipher' if it was really true that  was smelling smoke, then I have concluded that it was really smoke and it went away gradually as well

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          No Response

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?          I don't think so

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          Experience was definitely real

          Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:   it's real because I just know it is. it's hard to explain, there is no coincidence. all the things I've experienced was because of my dad. I have other 2 dreams, I have 3 dreams in total about my dad. I have other experiences too relating to him.

          Was the experience dream like in any way?  Yes

dreamlike because I was asleep but it feels like it happened in real life. at first, I though it was reality but then when I saw how my dad looked like in my dream, I was convinced that it was not, that he just visited me. he looked very much younger than he did.

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  I was very happy to see my dad and I felt like I missed him so much That's why I hugged him so tightly and he did too. when he said that he's cured, I thought that he really was cured from cancer and that made me very very happy. I even told him to stop smoking because I wanted him to stay healthy then I realized, my dad has gone already, he just came to visit me because I was lone and alone and not grieving properly..

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes

I have proven that my dad has not forgotten me and that he was there all along. though I don't see him, he sees how sad I was, he sees every tear I shed, he sees that I just cry in the middle of lets say, I'm in the bus, I just cry, when I hear a music and I remember him, I cry, when I'm eating alone in the kitchen at home, I cry, when I pray I cry, when I'm the restroom I cry, when I talk to someone about him I cry. I am now convinced that he's looking out for me, That's he's looking after me, that he's looking down on me

What was the best and worst part of your experience?     best part was seeing my dad healthy and hugging him, feeling his presence again. worst part is that it only lasted maybe a minute.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes                Describe:     I have researched and watched videos about life after death. I am now working in my spirituality. I am a big follower of Dr. Wayne Dyer because of this. I have discovered metaphysics, discovered a lot of things and people like Neville Goddard, Greg Bradden, and the like..          

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes    I now concretely believe in the life after death, that NDEs are real, that spirits are real. that there's more divine out there

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?         Yes    that there is really life after death. that we are all connected, that there is eternity. That's there far bigger than us that's out there. that we are not alone in the universe. that there's other dimension.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          happy, sad, relieved

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?          No

Did you become aware of future events?      No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?   Yes

I was with my mom and 2 sisters in  my dream and my dad was with his brothers.

Did you see a light?        Yes

I saw light on my 2nd dream. its like A very bright light but not like the sun that it's too bright for you to stare at it.. it's somewhere above and it's like moving, it's shining, it's like a door to other dimension.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?     No

Have you shared this experience with others?      

Yes    they believed me because I was my dad's favorite. they weren't surprised that my dad came to me in a dream.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?       No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience? I felt like I have grown intellectually, like I've matured. I've learned a great deal about the universe, about our experience. I have grown spiritually as well and is working to be my highest self.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?          No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?    No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?     Yes 

astral projection but in only lasted several seconds because I was scared to move far away from my body because I may not be able to go back. I was standing beside my body which was lying asleep on the bed. I stared at myself and had second thoughts if I should give it a try, maybe just try to go to the other room and then come back but I was too scared so I came back to my body.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?                     Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.       no suggestions