I was so devastated by the news of his death, I ended staying up till 4am just trying to grapple with the fact that he was gone. I was flooded with feelings of regret, guilt, sorrow and loss. It had been quite a while since I'd seen him in the flesh (about 10 yrs, hence the guilt and regret), but we did stay in touch via phone calls, emails, texting, about once/twice a week during those years. I was sitting on the couch, wiping my tears and blowing my nose, when I heard his voice, clear as a bell, inside my head: “I knew it as soon as I hit the water” ~ he died trying to rescue his dinghy, which had detached from his sailboat, which was moored to a log boom on Lake Champlain.

He had no way back to shore without the dinghy. I know in my heart he didn’t even think once about the temperature of the water. In mid-late October, the temp of Lake Champlain hovers around 52 degrees. He looked at the dinghy, floating away, but still fairly close. He thought “I can do this” - He stripped down to his skivvies, and jumped in. <-This is actually speculation on my part, and on the part of his family, but I’m sure what he has shown me is pretty much accurate as far as the events of that day.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?          No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?      Yes

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

          Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:   I heard his voice inside my head.

          Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?     It was completely inside my head. And it was in his voice.

          If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?     Similar.

          Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   No.

          Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No.

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?         No

Did you see the deceased?       No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No

How long did the experience last?      Several minutes.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?       gradual.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          Yes

He was explaining to me, like he was sitting next to me. Very casual.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  Yes.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          Experience was definitely real

          Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:   Because this is someone I have known for over 30 years. I KNOW his voice. I know who he is, what his personality is like. He has continued to show me these signs and has continued to send me messages.

          Was the experience dream like in any way?  No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  Shock, Surprise, but a knowing. A certainty. It was no one else but him.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes

If he was going to communicate with me, I was going to make sure he had every opportunity to do that. I wanted to hear from him. I wanted to know where he was, what he was doing, what he was thinking.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?          The best? The fact that he is still here with me. The fact that he is now one of my spirit guides. The fact that I can talk to him everyday. the worst part? I'll never see him again in the flesh. I'll never hear his voice in this realm again. I'll never get a voice mail from him again. I miss his physical presence, terribly. But our love binds us, through all our lives, not just this current one we shared.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes                Describe:     Luckily, my hubs hasn't really objected to my new found direction. He can't really be jealous of a dead guy now, can he? But it has significantly changed my daily life. I'm much happier, I'm much less emotionally attached to trivial outcomes, I'm much less attached to all worldly things. Material things. My primary goal now is spiritual growth, connecting with the divine, channeling my purpose.       

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?      Yes    I feel I've evaded my higher purpose my whole life. Communicating with G has taught me to find my higher purpose and start living it. No more wasting time.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?         Yes    It changed me. Once he started talking to me, I felt I was either truly hearing him, or losing my mind. I found a medium, and arranged a meeting. She was super. Told me I wasn't crazy, that indeed, he was reaching out to me.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          curiosity, surprise.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?          No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         Yes

A certainty that he was 'showing me' things. He pointed me to many, many things since that first experience. My life is changing, rapidly.

Did you become aware of future events?      No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?      Yes

I've been told, for years that I'm a sensitive, a psychic, and an empath. But I never focused on those things. I was too busy trying to make a living, keep my head above water (hmm water reference there) and fulfill a few dreams along the way.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?   No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?   No

Did you see a light?        No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?     No

Have you shared this experience with others?       Yes    Well, a few people. Some have reacted favorably. Some have said 'don't tell anyone this' ~

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?         No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?   I've had many, many communications with him since that first one. I'm now meditating daily, trying to hone my own channeling skills, connecting to my highest guides, (him included) and discerning my own life purpose, so I can live it NOW. I never, ever would have imagined, all those years ago when I met him (1986) that he would end up being one of my spirit guides. This is not something I EVER expected or even thought about prior to this event.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?          No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?       No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?           Uncertain