First would like to say something important to this experience: At the time of my son's death it appeared to be a suicide to the police but never to me, his family, his girlfriend, his close friends, friends or even acquaintances. Adam was always happy, the kind of person who sees humor in everything usually. He always had that gleam in his eye and was always smiling. He was sarcastic and always made us laugh. He loved his business, his military service, his beautiful girlfriend, his many many wonderful friends, and his family including his brothers, one only a year apart so they shared many friends. He literally had everything going for him. Therefore his father and I didn't stop until we got answers. Finally we got his phone records from the detectives and discovered that Adam had been looking at sights about the fainting game, usually done by younger people. We had thought someone had murdered him so it was a relief to know that he didn't die in a violent way and of course we knew he'd never kill himself. Finally it made sense. We didn't learn this, however for two years after his death so I didn't know what happened at the time of my experience BUT I never asked him when I saw him! It no longer mattered at that time even though it was all we discussed and researched, and went absolutely crazy trying to get answers.

Now for the experience: I appeared at a place where Adam was sitting at a table looking at a book I believe. Someone was sitting with him also at the table who I don't know and this person gestured to him with their head that I was there. Adam came right over to me and we hugged. The love I felt was like no other love I've ever felt and I also felt myself giving him all of my love too while hugging him. There were no words necessary and as I previously stated I didn't ask him what happened even though it was the most important thing on my mind for the last two years. He was wearing a tan outfit. It was a warm, loving, peaceful place with shades of gold, tan, and brown. I immediately woke up and knew it was not a dream.

Was this experience difficult to express in words? Yes

It was the unbelievable love I felt for my son and the love I felt back from him without any words.

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?     

No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?         Yes

By embracing each other/hugging.

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar? It was an unfamiliar way of hugging but Adam was certainly familiar.

          Was anything communicated by the touch? Pure love to and from both of us. There was an understanding that didn't need words. I felt like he knew I loved him and I know he loved me.

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   No, this was while I was asleep.

Did you see the deceased?       Yes

Same face. Different clothes definitely. He had on a tan outfit which seemed to be the same as the ones you see on Jesus or from the era when Jesus walked on the earth.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            Solid as ever.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       All of him.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?           Same age.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            Very healthy as he always was when alive.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   No, was sleeping.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No

How long did the experience last?      About a minute or two.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?       All the same.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          Yes

Happy to see me and full of love but there was also a sadness and regret to him it seemed which makes sense.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  No words exchanged.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          Experience was definitely real

          Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:   I woke up and was certain I had been with my son and that it wasn't a dream. I felt so happy and was in awe and couldn't stop thinking about it. I've had some dreams of him that probably weren't real and some possibly real but there was no doubt with this experience. It was as real as life.

          Was the experience dream like in any way?  No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  Felt pure love coming from me and going to him and felt his love going to me. Complete happiness with this 'knowing' between us. Nothing else mattered. I've read many NDEs (HUGE thanks to this site) where people write about this love but I never understood it until this experience.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes

There was a piece of happiness during a time of extreme grief and complete heartache.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?          Best was seeing my son and experiencing love and the worst was seeing him look a little sad in a way.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? No     

What oth
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?      Yes    Definitely know there's an afterlife and my son is there.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?         Yes    I understood the feeling of absolute love and proof of afterlife.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?    No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          Relieved knowing he's okay but hoping he doesn't feel guilt or sorrow for what he did. (As his mother all I ever wanted/want for my boys is for them to be happy.) So grateful for having a chance to be with him. Hopeful that someday I/our family will be together with him again. Positive there is an after life.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?          No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         No

Did you become aware of future events?      No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?      No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?   Uncertain

I know my body was sleeping and my soul was with my son but that's all I know for sure.

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?         Yes

I saw the person with Adam who alerted him to my presence. I didn't know who he was but he was young like Adam. He only gestured to Adam and I didn't see him after that.

Did you see a light?        Uncertain

There was a glowing, warm peacefulness to the place. Not sure if it was a light. I didn't enter any lights, was just there.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?     No

Have you shared this experience with others?      

Yes    I've shared it with people I'm close to and they believed me. I'm not sure if they were influenced in any way.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?         No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?   No, but I do wish I could tell parents and children to never play the choking game. I don't have social media and don't know how to get the word out. Please do so if there is an opportunity to. THANKS.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?          No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?       No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? Yes 

Spiritual events only which I will share at another time. I did have a quick strange experience while a passenger in a car when I almost fainted but nothing worth discussing.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?           Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.       None I can think of now, thanks. Thanks so much for your website and for this opportunity to share my experience.