My husband died six weeks ago. He took his own life. Since the day he left, I dream about him. Every night I feel his presence. The dream that grabbed my attention the most occurred a week and a half after he died. He asked me to pray for him, for our son, and for me. He told me he loved me and missed me. It was like there was a limit on what we could say to each other. I was completely conscious that I was speaking with his soul. He was dressed the same as the day he died. He told me that he killed himself because he no longer wanted to live. He smiled at me and got up. Then he walked toward a door that held back a dazzling light. All I could see was the green grass on which he stepped.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   No 

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  No    

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?     I was conscious of everything that was happening.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      Normal consciousness and alertness  

At the end of the dream, I was running through a hallway. At the end of the hallway there was a door without locks.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.  It’s something inexplicable, as if it were another place.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   Normal

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Relief to talk with my deceased husband.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   Yes   It was a blinding white.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   Yes  

My husband. I knew he had died, and moreover, that we could talk with each other, but it was like we could only use a certain vocabulary. There was a limit.

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about the universe.  

I knew everything in the place where I was, and everything that had happened.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   

A light. There was relief, but also something that prevented me from giving myself completely.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes A white light.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Yes 

There was a long path to follow, a difficult path. But there was also a light that accompanied me until the end.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes 

Love goes beyond physical death.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   No  

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience  

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.  

My experience directly resulted in:   Slight changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   No  

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   No  

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?  The light and the limit on what we could say.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  Few believe me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Yes   I was hospitalized with a serious infection and a 104-degree fever.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was probably real  

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was probably real  

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   No  

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes