My father passed away on April 11, 2020. My partner and I just saw him the night before and were bringing over food to him. When entering the parking lot, I said out loud 'Don't you feel like he has died right now'? out loud. He had before we arrived. When we found him, there was a down-pouring of rain. We waiting for the police, coroner, crisis team, EMT's to leave. It was raining like cats and dogs and I was standing outside in it. Then it started sprinkling. It cleared up hours later. Once it had cleared up, the police officer said that we could leave. As we were leaving, my partner said: 'look up at the sky.' We looked up at the sky and there was a double rainbow. It only lasted a few minutes and disappeared. I saw many signs leading up to May 1, 2020, that brought me joy, but the biggest and best is still unbelievable. For some reason, I had a feeling that I wanted to clean out all of my kitchen cupboards at midnight. I started on the first cabinet (that a butterfly had flown out of a week prior-which was another sign because my father had a butterfly tattoo). My partner got up on a stool to get the old cans of rice vinegar out. She thought she had grabbed everything and then I asked if she could wipe it down. Before she wiped it down, she pulled out a card. There was a card in my cupboard that said 'Daughter' and it had a clover in it and a quote addressed to a child from their parent. I just broke down crying in disbelief. I had never seen it before. It was not mine. I had cleaned these cupboards before. After I stared at this newfound treasure of mine, my partner double-checked if there was something else up there. There was. It was a picture of a double rainbow. It was a picture that was cut out of a postcard of two rainbows. We sat and stared in disbelief. I am not the type of person to believe in things like 'signs.' I never thought that I would be. We ended up cleaning all the other cupboards in our kitchen and found one more thing. It was a crystal butterfly from a hairclip of mine that my dad got for me when I was 13-14. The clip broke, but I must have thrown the butterfly part in the cupboard. I can tell you up and down that I have never seen those two cards before and that I had cleaned out my counters before and that is why I know this was a major sign from him. I told him when he died that he would likely have to yell for me to hear him from heaven. He has been sending me signs like this since he has passed away and they have only been getting bigger and bigger.

Another example is my partner and I put his urn in his favorite thing in the whole world one more time, his truck. I took a photo of it and didn't look at the photo until later that day. There are two rainbows entering from the windshield and surrounding his urn. It was absolutely beautiful.

Was this experience difficult to express in words? No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?      No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

Did you see the deceased?       No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No

How long did the experience last?      It was two sudden experiences receiving those cards

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?       two sudden experiences. I received two cards from him. It was riddled with emotions both times and I was impacted by this immensely for probably around four hours.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          Yes

I had been asking him 'Did you know that I loved you'? for the past week. That has been the question that I have asked. I felt love. I felt proud. I felt like he was kind of joking with me and showing up. He always went above and beyond in everything he did. I felt at peace. It felt as though it was confirmation that all the other signs that I have seen are correct.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  He confirmed that he loved me in the quote in the card and that I was doing the right thing.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          Experience was definitely real

          Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:   It was real because I have pictures to prove every event.

          Was the experience dream like in any way?  Yes

It didn't feel real. It felt like time stopped and I questioned my existence and reality as a whole. I felt like I was living in my own version of the Truman show or the matrix. It was very strange and difficult to describe.

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  The initial feeling for myself and my partner was utter shock and disbelief. I thought I was dreaming or having a lucid dream. It was surreal. The shock turned into amazement and excitement. When we saw the second card, I became even more shocked and confused. My brain tried to figure out how it could possibly be a coincidence. I mean, it could... but honestly, you can't convince me that it is. I'm still confused and shocked, but I know that he is okay. I also started to cry because I was having a really rough night because of this quarantine and how that has extended any possibility of having a funeral. If he were alive, he would know that I needed something like this because I did. I started to forget about the signs that I had seen because it had been a few days. BUT this, was absolutely shocking and I wish I had someone to talk about regarding this. There seems to be answers out there somewhere and I am so lucky and grateful that he communicated with me. I felt reassured that he knew that I loved him.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes

I am very saddened by his death, but I feel a lot better. I feel safer in general. I feel like everything is going to be okay. Death isn't as scary anymore.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?          The best part of my experience was the feeling of safety that I got. I felt so safe and I felt my dad. I knew that he could see me and knew that I loved him. The worst part was knowing that I may never receive something wonderful like this the rest of my life (I hope that I do)

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes                Describe:     These experiences have opened a whole other type of world to me. I was always a bit envious of others' faith and religion. I am not religious now and have never been. I never understand or felt God before my father passed away. I am happy to say that I believe I have been feeling what others have felt before.
         
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?      Yes    Yes. I can say with certainty that I believe there is something after death and it is beautiful. At least, that is what I believe. I could have never imagined myself saying that.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?         Yes    Yes. Since he has passed away, I have been completely in tune with things that I have been blocking out. Death has always scared me. The day he died, I said 'If I can have one thing from my dad it is his faith in God.' Well, I'm not there yet, but there was a missing piece of faith found in the signs that I have seen. I am not the type of person to believe these sort of things and I have witnesses that would honestly tell me if I was overblowing this, and they have said that I am not. There has to be something out there.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?    Yes

My dad said that he would find a way to contact us. My dad said that he would 'find a way to contact us.'

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?         I am still confused and in shock. I stare at the cards for extended periods of time and want to tell everyone. I feel like my dad was showing off and I absolutely love that feeling. One of the last sentences he said to me before he passed away was 'I need to start communicating with you girls better.' I felt like he was doing what he said he would do. He was a man of honor. I can look at the cards and know that there is something out there and it is the pureness that my dad was.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?          Yes  I was with my partner of four years

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes

Yes. It was like time was not even a thing. I felt like I was on a completely different dimension than where I had been. I told my partner 'Welcome to a new dimension, apparently.' We just stood there for I don't know how long just staring. It could have been a minute. It could have been two hours. The world felt different at that time. It felt like an awakening almost.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         Yes

Yes. 100% I felt like it was the plan all along. I felt like this moment had been planned out for me perfectly and all the moments leading up to it. I could have done things differently and been in different places at different times and things would have been different. However, the things that I needed to see or hear were there. I felt as though I and my dad were almost like one. It felt like I had known that this would happen in a previous dimension/life (I don't know how to describe it)

Did you become aware of future events?      No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?      No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?   No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?   No

Did you see a light?        No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?     No

Have you shared this experience with others?      
Yes    They were shocked. Almost in disbelief. I sent them pictures and they said 'that is your sign.' My partner was with me and she went through the range of emotions that I had.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?         No Response

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?   I have other signs too. Some of them are almost silly and hard to share. I would have to write a small book to describe the past few weeks.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?          No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?       No Response 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? Yes 

I was in a very bad car crash and thought I was going to die and my life flashed before my eyes. I also have sleep paralysis and lucid dreaming. When I was a child, I used to talk to an Angel, my mom said.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?           No

I have photos of the things that I saw so I would like to share to prove this. 

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.       It would be nice to have a place to upload a photo if there was a place for it.