I had this dream about the two of us. We were so incredibly happy. We were running, playing, and laughing in the field that was just incredibly beautiful. So vivid and storybook like I cannot put it into words.

We never spoke, but kept looking at each other with great love and joy.

In the morning, I tried to describe it to others but couldn’t put it into words. I never remember my dreams, but this I remember clearly.

I didn’t think much more about it other than to be happy that I had a happy dream, not like the others since the suicide.

Then, over a month later, I was listening to the audiobook, Proof of Heaven by Eben Alexander. I was listening during my lunch break from work at my desk. In Chapter 7, he starts to describe this field he experienced in heaven. I just remember thinking; this sounds so familiar, like I’ve seen this place of been here before....

Then a cold chill ran directly down my spine, I got goose bumps on my arms. I pulled out my AirPods, threw them down on my desk and walked out into the sunny afternoon because I was suddenly so cold.

Was this experience difficult to express in words? Yes

The colors, and the reality of it

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?      No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?         No

Did you see the deceased?       Yes

He looked exactly how I remember him, except incredibly happy

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            It was a dream.. he appeared solid

            How much of the deceased did you see?       I mostly remedy his face, as I kept gazing into his eyes and his into mine, but we were full bodied

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?           Age at which they died.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            As healthy as ever

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No

How long did the experience last?      Unsure. I awoke as if someone snapped their fingers. I can even picture it exactly as it was when suddenly I was awake

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?       Sudden

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          Yes

Happy, loving, joyous

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  No. Just an assurance of unconditional love

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          Experience was definitely real

          Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:   It seemed so real. I thought it was a dream until that book and others such as Life After Life, and Evidence of an Afterlife

          Was the experience dream like in any way?  Yes

See above. It occurred in a dream but more real, vivid, and unlike any other dream I’ve ever had.

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  I was grieving obviously since it had only been 2 weeks since his suicide

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Uncertain

Not sure... it is a long road I am on in terms of healing

What was the best and worst part of your experience?          The feeling of love and joy, and the best part being that I would be reunited w Brian

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes                Describe:     Made me much more helpful, friendly and gracious towards others. It allowed me to release all my anger.. like I don’t have room or energy for it any longer      
           
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?      No      Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  Yes    I felt as if Brian was trying to show me what we’d share when I joined him

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?    No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          Peace, calm, feeling of being loved

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?          No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes

Hard to describe... almost like it was timeless. Could go on forever

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         No

Did you become aware of future events?      No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?      No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?   Uncertain

I don’t know.. I had a body, but I’m not sure it was my earthly body

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?         No

Did you see a light?        No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?     No

Have you shared this experience with others?       Yes    They shrugged and thought nothing more of it

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?         No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?   This is one of at least 4 experiences since he died

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?          No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?       No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?           Uncertain

I will never be able to describe it effectively. there just aren’t words, which others can attest to that that’s exactly what I said the next morning