She was diagnosed with LMS cancer. We knew that average life span was 18 months. She made it 19. What a wonderful experience to be able to say everything you wanted to prior to her death. There were no 'I wish I would have told her'. In a car wreck it’s over and you don’t those chances. I felt fortunate to have had that chance. We did all the chemo, experimental drugs, radiation and surgeries to extend her life. But she finally had enough and four months later she passed. She started to bleed internally and that’s when they told us she had a week maybe two left. I was her cheer leader for 19 months and when that news came, I was crushed and she became my cheerleader. I fell apart. I don’t know how she did it. I don’t know how all those that I have talked to, do it! Cheerful and joking all the time. She wanted to die at home but I just couldn’t keep up with the drugs I was exhausted, She said OK lets go to hospice. So, we went and spent two nights there. Our two kids were there through the whole thing. I was afraid she would die in the night, and I wouldn’t be there for her. I told her I would have her hand in mine all night. By morning I could tell that she was very near as her breathing very slow and long. She took her last breath. I knew from my work in the fire department that people can still hear for about 4 to 5 minutes after their last breath. I didn’t want her to know she was dying. So I said softly, 'It’s time to go. Go see him he is waiting for you.' I told her that 'we are all here. We love you and always will'
By about 5 or 6 minutes I knew her brain would be dead and I kissed her one last time. I was shocked by how fast she had cooled. Cool lips and hands too. I looked over at the kids and they just looked back in disbelief. That’s when I got up and went to the foot of the bed. I was standing there for 2 or 3 minutes. And from behind me, slightly to my left I felt her presence. And then, it’s hard to describe because I didn’t hear her but it was like she was talking inside of my head and I hear her say, 'Why are you looking at me? I am no longer there.' As clear as a bell, I was stunned! Wow I was blown away. She talked to me from the other side. Not possible but she did. And I never heard her like that again.
Background Information:
Date of experience: 5/22/2015
Length of time between death of deceased and your experience: A few minutes, maybe ten?
Degree of alertness immediately prior to experience: Fully alert
After your experience, did you consider the contents of your experience: Wonderful
Have you had multiple experiences?Yes I describe it later
Was this experience difficult to express in words? No
Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them? Yes
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased? Yes
Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated: A voice clear as bell she said it and that was it. gone.
Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? Internally
If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive? similar, it was her voice
Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? not a chance
Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? no
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? Uncertain
She was behind me so close that she fell like she was partially in me.
Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar? unfamiliar I sensed it I didn't feel it.
Was anything communicated by the touch? no
Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? no
Did you see the deceased? No
Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No
How long did the experience last? Seconds maybe 5 to 7
Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden? Sudden
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? Uncertain
She seemed happy and ok with the situation
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? no
How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was definitely real
Because I was totally awake, it was morning we knew what had just happened.
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: Almost nothing, her words were there and I was just kind of numb from her passing and then I felt normal with total clarity.
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Uncertain
I was sad but not grief stricken
What was the best and worst part of your experience? Nothing bad and the good was like she was telling me, I'm ok move on.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes Describe: I certainly believe the dead are alive somewhere.
What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have?
Life-changing
Joy
Other: belief
I didn't tell anyone for almost a year, I still don't tell very many people, including my kids...maybe once I don't recall.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? No
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Yes It gave me the knowledge that there is an afterlife
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I went back into sadness
Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others? Yes
My son and daughter were there but they didn't say the heard anything
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Uncertain
I just don't recall, Had you asked me that after it happened I might know differently.
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? No
Did you become aware of future events? No
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? No
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? No
Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased? Yes
Our two kids were there behind me they have never told me they experienced the same thing nor have I asked the,
Did you see a light? No
Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above? No
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes Only with those I trust, new wife, very close friends and my friends late wife (Penny) who passed a year ago. And Mitch and I were standing in church and She came and stood in us and put her arms around us. Yes I said IN us. A very strange thing but she was standing partially in us. She is another story. Ask me.
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? No
Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience? no
Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? Uncertain
just ubcertain
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire. You asked questions that I didn't think about at the time and I wish I would have thought about those more. I do believe that she comes back and helps me when I really need her. Only about 3 or 4 times. Like when I was trying to find my son. I called and Called his phone for hours and no answer. I began to cry so I called her phone I heard her voicemail message and told her to make him answer his phone. So called one more time and he picked like nothing had been wrong, he said he had his phone right there all the time. One thing I think I sense is that she only helps me when I really need it, I feel he presence once in awhile. I feel that she doesn't come around as often because she knows all my sins against her not that she holds that against me but sees I can make this life work with out her help.. But she definitely comes around to help emotionally and I feel grief stricken when she does. She knows that I really did love her.