In a nutshell, I ended up having to lie on the sofa to try to breathe. I ended up first coming OUT of my body! It was scary for me. VERY scary for me. The only reason I know it happened is because, as I was lying on the sofa with my eyes closed, trying to breathe...all of a sudden, I could see my husband standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes and talking to our daughter who was playing in her highchair with some kind of blue toy. As I opened my eyes, I saw that the foot of the sofa was about 5 feet below me. I was ready to ask my husband to call 911...but decided against it...and then decided to pray. Note: I hadn't "really" prayed in years. We're talking SERIOUS backsliding here. I fell into all kinds of bad things. Anyway...as I began to pray...I started to spin and spin and spin. THEN, OK, this is going to sound really whacko, but it's the truth -- you know how people talk about going into a white light? Well, I didn't have a "white" light, but there was a wonderful, calming, warm, homey light that was a color I'd NEVER seen before. The only way I can describe it is a violet/white/blue fluorescent type color -- but it was almost like a pool of color or presence (not a tunnel, really) that was radiating so tremendously. I WANTED to take it in..to go to it...but I DIDN'T because I knew what it meant. What I know it meant was that, if I went with that light, I'd be taken from this Earth. I cried inside and asked God to please spare me and give me a second chance at life. That I knew my husband and baby daughter could not stand to live without me (my husband tragically lost his father at 14). I knew the choice wasn't my own...which is why I prayed to the Lord to please give me another chance. That I promised to go back to Himm...to take him back into my heart. To do things right this time. The point is, that experience has changed my life forever. I'm so grateful for it, but I'm sorry and disappointed that it took that -- something so extreme -- to make me wake up. I'm having a very hard time not hating myself for the bad choices I've made in the past. Note: Before I was presented with the light/presence, I first went through a period of seeing and feeling several strange shadows kind of wrapping themselves around me and over me...suffocating almost. It was very frightening. This is when I began to beg God's forgiveness and mercy -- for I suspected that these "shadow beings" may have meant that I would not be able to go to God -- but that some horrible alternative would take over.
I want to start by saying I do not know what really happened
to me. It can be called an out-of-body experience. Did I actually leave my
body? Is it all in my head? I don't know. Neither the scientific community or
new age literature have provided me with an sufficient explanation. I will try
to give the facts about what happened and leave out any bias I might have. This
all started when my friend had my read "Journeys Out-of-Body", by
Robert Monroe. The book very much interested me. It all sounded so amazing.
Suffice to say, it peeked my interest which is what I think caused it. The
experiences occurred in the months after I read the book.
The first odd things that began to
occur happened when I lived in Omaha. One night I was awakened by a strange
sound. The sound startled me, so my nerves were on edge and I was fully awake.
It sounded like a ringing bell. Not like church bells or anything. It was weird because it was loud. Then I realized I was experiencing sleep paralysis. At
first I thought the sound was coming from the kitchen, but as I listened it
seemed like it was all around. At this point I will add that I have many lucid
dreams. I've had lucid dreams all my life. Whenever I am fearful in a dream, I
just wake myself up by trying to move my body. Hearing this sound kinda scared
me so I instinctively tried to shake myself out of it. It worked and the sound
immediately stopped and I had control of my body again. I will stress that I do
not believe I was dreaming. I believe I was fully awake. My dreams always
blurry and unconvincing, i guess this is why I become lucid. So I cannot mix up
what happened with any dreams I've ever had. I can say with great confidence
that I was fully awake during this episode. I cannot explain what happened.
That was only the beginning.
Another night sometime later I was
awoke by the sound of water rushing. The sound was loud and seemed like it was
in my head. This time I felt strange sensations throughout my entire body. I
was once again paralyzed. It felt like great surges of electrical energy were
flowing in my body. It didn't hurt. I was very scared and with difficulty I
shook myself. The sensations and sounds went away.
I was awoke on several more
occasions by some sound or another. One time it was yelling. No, it wasn't my
neighbors. I cant count how many times I awoke to strange sounds and
sensations.
By this time I had moved from Omaha
to St.Louis. The experiences happened in both cities. The most important
experience happened in St.Louis. One night I awoke to something very strange. I
have to stress something. When I awoke I was very tired and wanted to
immediately go back to sleep. Its like when someone calls you in the middle of
the night, you don't really want to talk you just want to go back to sleep. This
is how I felt when I awoke. I don't know what woke me up. I didn't hear any
sounds, but I had a strange sensation. I saw the lower half of my body floating
about a foot and a half above the rest of me. I felt the lower part of me(lower
torso and legs) floating in the air while it seemed to be anchored by the upper
part of my body to the bed. It was to say the least weird. I put on sweat pants
before bed, but the legs I saw were naked and had a better appearance. Not only
that, they were visible in a completely dark room and were a grayish-white. Not
only were they visible they seemed to glow. They looked like my legs, but were
much sexier. How amazing it may seem now, at that moment I just wanted to go
back to sleep. So once again I shook the sensations off and went back to sleep.
Not much has happened since then. Every once and awhile I will have a vivid(very rare for me)dream where I am soaring through outer-space. Well,
there it is.
Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the
experience:No Was the experience difficult to express in words?No At the time of the experience, was there an associated life threatening
event?No
What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?Except for the one time, always fully awake. Was the experience dream like in any way?None were dream like. Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body?Yes Describe your appearance or form apart from your body:Yes, but only the lower half of my body. I
saw my legs floating above me, but they were different. The legs I saw floating
above me were beautiful and perfect.
What emotions did you feel during the experience?FEAR! Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?Many different noises: ringing bells,
rushing water, growling, screaming.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?No
Did you see a light?No
Did you meet or see any other beings?No
Did you experience a review of past events in your life?No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your
experience that could be verified later?No
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations,
levels or dimensions?No
Did you have any sense of altered space or time?No
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or
purpose?No
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?No
Did you become aware of future events?No
Were you involved in or aware of a decision to return to the body?No
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the
experience you did not have prior to the experience?No
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?Yes Describe:I never really feared death. This reinforced
my belief.
Has the experience affected your relationships?Daily life?Religious
practices etc.?Career choices?I tend to grieve a little less when someone
dies. I think it is likely I will see them again.
Have you shared this experience with others?Yes Describe:Mom, girlfriend, brother.
My mom is religious. She thinks I'm crazy.
My girlfriend is supportive, but I think she is skeptical.
My brother has also had strange experiences. So he believes me. The strangeness
of his experiences are not of the same kind as mine.
What emotions did you experience following your experience?Fear. Awe. I could never get past the fear
of hearing weird sound and feeling strange sensations. What was the best and worst part of your experience?To me it shows that medical science has a
long way to go when it comes to explaining the human mind. Calling such
experiences hallucinations or very vivid dreams just doesn't cut it. It very
well may be that it is all in my head and that once you die, your dead. But
medical science needs to devote more research to such experiences to explain
the case either way.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?No Describe:Not a lot.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?No
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?Uncertain Explain:There are a few experiences that I left out
due to time constraints, but I have told the important stuff. Although, it is a
little hard to fully illustrate the partial OBE that I had.
Please offer any suggestions you have to improve thequestionnaire?No suggestions.