Samantha J ADC
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Experience description:

I was asleep, it was shortly after my mother had passed away. She lived in Florida and had only moved there a few years prior to her death and I stayed in Ohio with my father so I was not around during her illness nor did I attend her funeral afterward. I want to say this precise experience may have even taken place the very day after I had learned of her passing, but for the sake of being as truthful as I can, I feel more comfortable saying 'A few days after her death' no more than a week.

I had a dream that she was on the phone with me. That I was laying in bed, just as I had actually been, but was laying on the phone and listening to her talk. I can't recall what she was saying but I do know that it was really important and I was supposed to be listening to her. I kept drifting in and out of sleep (in the dream, not in reality) and suddenly, woke up in real life believing I had fallen asleep with her on the phone and feeling ashamed I had not been listening because she is dead. I did not wake up forgetting her death. I did not awake with the belief that she was alive and that I had just been on the phone with her. I knew I had been on the phone with her after she had died and I was frantically trying to find the phone because I believed I had fallen asleep mid-conversation with my dead mother and had dropped the phone some place off or behind the bed. I was in tears. I had searched, groggy eyed and frantic, for maybe a minute or so before I realized that I had only dreamt it and there was no way I had been conversing at all with my dead mother.

 Was this experience difficult to express in words? No

 Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?          No

 Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?       Yes

           Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:          I don't recall, I just knew it was her voice and that she was trying to communicate something important to me via phone.

           Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?          It was through a phone in a dream. I had a sense that whatever she wanted to tell me was important and that I should've understood that. I still can't be sure if the feeling of importance came from maybe some weird cosmic knowing that it would have been the last conversation or communication that she would ever be able to have with me. This thought still bothers me.

           If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?    Similar. Exact.

           Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No.

           Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?       No, aside from my having been asleep.

 Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?       No

 Did you see the deceased?       No

 Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No

 How long did the experience last?      I can't be certain. Not very long.

 Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?      Cannot recount the beginning necessarily, but the end was abrupt. I just remember waking up in a panic to find the phone and felt immense shame, guilt and sadness knowing that I may have messed up by 'falling asleep'.

 Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          Uncertain

 I'm not sure where the feeling of 'importance' came from but sometimes I recall it being in her tone. Other times I recall it just being implied by the general mood of the dream and that her voice was rather calm and matter-of-fact. The one fact remains though, that the experience was important and I was to know that.

 Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?          No.

 How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          Experience was definitely real

           Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:   Because I woke up looking for the phone. I do sometimes consider that it was just part of grieving and I think my mind has always wandered that conclusion far more than any other, but over the years I have spent time with people who have lost loved ones close to them and they have shared experiences similar to this and it has made me wonder. Is this just a common method for our brains to go through processing grief or is there something else here? My experience was real, there's no mistake. However, is my experience - for me personally - a clear piece of evidence of after death communication? Not quite.

           Was the experience dream like in any way?  Yes

 The whole thing was a dream.

 Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  As noted above: Saddened, angry, ashamed, guilty, like I lost out on a one in a billion opportunity.

 Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? No

 What was the best and worst part of your experience?     n/a

 Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? No     

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? No      Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?   No          Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?          Yes

 I asked my mother, whose illness had been terminal, if she would send me a sign from beyond when I most needed it. I requested personally if she could flicker lights on and off for me to signify that she was there. She said she would but added that 'Any time I felt the wind against my cheek, I could know it to be her.' I have experienced neither of those mentioned without there being a clear reason, e.g: a windy day, a fan on, a power outage, etc.

 Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          Confusion. Sadness.

 Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?          No

 Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes

 Looking back, after having fully came to after awaking from my dream-state and realizing that this had all been a dream, something did seem like it set itself aside from just the typical dream. Again, I argue with myself that this may have just been the weight of grief but I do know that I had never had a dream where I fell asleep in the dream. Not before then and not since.

 Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         No

 Did you become aware of future events?      No

 Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?  No

 Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?   No

 Did you see a light?        No

 Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?     No

 Have you shared this experience with others?      

Yes    There have been a lot of people who have shared similar experiences of receiving a call from a loved one shortly after their loved one has passed.

 Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?       No

  Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience? No.

 Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?          Uncertain

 I may have been on anti-depressants at the time or had recently been coming off, I am not sure. I can't recall exactly when I was put on them and when I was taken off but I know I was only on them for a short period of time at one point or another during my high school years.

 Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?    No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?     Yes 

I'd rather not share.

 Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?                     Yes