My husband overdosed on cocaine and passed away when I was 6 months pregnant with our daughter. I moved in with my mother, temporarily, but couldn't handle her criticism of everything I did or didn't do as I was grieving; apparently she thinks there's a proper way to grieve and I wasn't doing it right. I ended up moving in with a girl friend at her mother's house, and had my own room. They were very supportive. On March 12, 2002,I delivered a healthy baby girl. We were released from the hospital with no complications or concerns. My girl friend's mother gave my daughter a bath every night and the baby slept great at nights. One week after bringing the baby home from the hospital, I was laying in bed, it was approximately 10PM, baby had just fell asleep, the house was completely dark and quiet, and I closed my eyes, ready to go to sleep. Immediately after closing my eyes, I felt like someone turned a light on, so I opened my eyes. There was no one there, but it was bright as day in my room, like, as if the sun itself was standing in my doorway. I didn't hear any words and I didn't say anything. I KNEW it was my husband and another 'spirit'. Without sound, I *felt the light comforting me as if to say "everything is going to be okay" and "goodbye." The light started fading away as soon as I saw it, but within that millisecond, I got the communicated feeling. It was bright, but I was able to look directly at it. I saw no figures. It was white. It was beautiful, loving, calming. It faded very slowly. No light on this Earth looks like that, fades like that, I was afraid to close my eyes because I didn't want it to go away, I'm not even sure if I blinked, I didn't want to miss any bit of that light. Finally, my room was completely dark again. I started hearing typical noises in the house again. I couldn't stop thinking about that light, but I finally went to sleep. The next morning I told my girl friend about it. I once told a psychiatrist about it and was told I'm schizophrenic and was prescribed Risperdol(sp?). I thought that Dr was the biggest waste of a college seat.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   No 

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     It's almost impossible to describe the light. It's also impossible to explain communication without words or sights. I wouldn't even call it telepathy, that word does it no justice.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?      The whole time

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      Normal consciousness and alertness   I was normal consciousness and alertness.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   I have never seen a light like this

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   There was no other sound.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   I was worried about how I was going to take care of this baby by myself, but the light made me feel like I wasn't alone. It gave me peace. I felt loved.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   Yes   It's indescribable. Super bright, white, lit everything like it was day in the middle of the night, like the sun, but different! soft and easy to look at.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
The light WAS the mystical being

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?      

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   Yes   My husband's spirit, and another loving spirit. I didn't see them as figures or in body. They were the light. I don't know how I know there were 2 because there was just one light, but I knew, I know, I felt two of them.

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   This experience is the starting point of me being aware that consciousness continues after death. I wasn't told, it was self evident because I felt two entities or essences or whatever you want to call them, one of which I knew had died and was cremated.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   I became aware of a Supreme entity, possibly God, being the reason I was seeing what I was seeing and feeling what I was feeling.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   That light was the most loving thing I ever felt in my life.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   No  

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   I didn't believe in spirits, or life after death. I now believe in spirits. I now believe some form of our soul or consciousness continues without the body. It's our energy - it continues after the body dies.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.   I remember it as if it just happened. I can never forget it.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I believe in spirits now, but I have difficulty believing they're all around us at all times. I gradually put more and more faith in God (that's what I call him, or it, the love light energy consciousness that gives us consciousness) and the more faith I put in this unseen deity, the better my life is, the happier I am, the more content I am with less, etc, etc.

My experience directly resulted in:   Moderate changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Yes   I slowly put more faith in God. I gained more confidence, and surrendered my difficult circumstances. I thank God every day.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   No  

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     The entire experience caused me to think differently. my husband said goodbye. I got closure. I believe he was able to see his daughter. That is significant.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  I shared with my girl friend, she thought it was odd. A psychiatrist said I'm schizophrenic, now I can't stand doctors. My sister and others in my family seemed unphased.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   No  

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   It was real. It's always been real. I can't think it wasn't real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   It was real. It's always been real. I can't think it wasn't real.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   No  

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I now believe spirits exist and conscious energy continues after our body dies.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No  

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   No, that's it

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes   I can't think of anything else to ask or say