When my father died, there were several contacts after his death. On the day he died I heard the phone ring, but without answering I knew immediately - he's dead.

In the period after his death, about three months, I had three more encounters. These were thoughts that suddenly popped into my thoughts and that I knew for sure came from him. A lot of negative things happened in the past and I hardly had any contact with my father as a child, my mother simply didn't want that. When he died I was overcome by a deep sadness that also included the lack of a relationship with my father as a child.

In the midst of my sadness I was mentally dominated by the question of why everything was like that, why things happened the way they did. I was very desperate and sad when I suddenly felt powerless, melancholy and the unspoken request to understand. At the same time a thought came to mind - I had no more strength. I could clearly recognize the thought as a message from my father.

By looking at the different My mother's aggressive and hostile behavior led to a retraumatization. I was not allowed to attend my father's funeral and my mother did not mention me at all. My parents lived in another city and my mother had made sure that I no longer played a role in my parents' lives. She denied my existence, told everyone that she only had one daughter, my sister. She had behaved like this for years, so most of her acquaintances assumed that I did not exist at all.

In the weeks following his death, I suffered a retraumatization that brought me to the brink of despair. In this situation, he came to me again, I could feel him, the communication was based on telepathic thoughts. He said to me, it will be fine. With that, he broke my despair, I can't describe it any other way. After he was there, the despair was significantly less and I managed to pull myself together and call a therapist. This man actually gave me an appointment and I was able to start therapy. This is very unusual, normally you have to wait months for an appointment.

The last time I met my father was in 2021 in a meditation. In my mind I was standing in a yard, looking over at him, he was sitting on a chair on a green area and looking over at me. He seemed healthy and was much younger. I was happy to see him, then he said something to me that I can't forget - you're going to get very ill. In the following period I became infected with a virus, became unable to work as a result and, out of necessity, began treatment that forced me to work through the abuse experiences in my past.

Background Information:

Date of experience:          2014 and then again in 2021

Length of time between death of deceased and your experience:  Three months after the death and then again six years after the death

Was the date of the experience significant in any way?            No, the contact came about after my mother behaved in a way that, I suspect, he could not classify or recognize during his lifetime. For my mother, I was always the one to blame, my father never questioned this attitude and often supported it. Contact with him is directly related to my mother's behavior. The encounter in 2021 and the announcement of a serious illness was related in that I have experiences of abuse. I understood this as if he wanted to protect me, to explain himself and to help me.

General geographic location of experience:  Germany, village

Details of location of experience and your activity at the time of experience:          2021 in meditation 2014 while I was mentally dealing with questions from my past, I was emotionally and mentally very preoccupied with this topic.

Degree of bereavement for deceased immediately prior to the experience:      Severe sadness and/or grief feelings

Degree of alertness immediately prior to experience:            Fully alert

After your experience, did you consider the contents of your experience:    Wonderful

Have you had multiple experiences?   Yes    I have had several experiences with communicating with deceased people. When my father died, there were several contacts after his death. On the day he died I heard the phone ring, without answering I knew immediately - he is dead.

In the time after his death, about a period of three months, there were three more events. These were thoughts that suddenly appeared in my thoughts and that I know for sure came from him. A lot of negative things happened in the past and I hardly had any contact with my father as a child, my mother simply did not want this. In the midst of my grief, I was mentally dominated by the question why everything was like this, why things happened the way they did. I was very desperate and sad when I suddenly felt powerless, melancholy and the unspoken request to understand. At the same time, a thought came to mind - I had no more strength. I could clearly recognize the thought as a message from my father.

In the following weeks I had serious health problems that brought me to the brink of despair. In this situation he came to me again, I could feel him, communication was limited and based on telepathic thoughts. He said to me, it will be fine. With that he broke my despair. I managed to pull myself together and call a therapist. This man actually gave me an appointment and I was able to start therapy. This is very unusual, normally you have to wait months for an appointment.

The last time I met my father was in meditation. I was standing in a square, looked over at him, he was sitting on a chair in a green area. He seemed healthy and was much younger. I was happy to see him, then he said something to me that I will never forget - you will get very ill. In the time that followed, I became infected with a virus, became unable to work as a result and, out of necessity, began treatment that forced me to work through the abuse experiences in my past.

Was this experience difficult to express in words? Yes

The profound emotions and the connection are hard to describe and absolutely real. Since then I have felt very connected to my father, more than was possible during his lifetime.

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?     

No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?         No

Did you see the deceased?       Yes

My father was healthy, he was younger, about 40 years old, he died at the age of 78.

How clearly did the deceased appear?            He was clearly visible to me, I could recognize him clearly.

How much of the deceased did you see?       2021 I saw my father in his full form.

Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?           No, my father looked younger.

How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            Completely healthy, without any complaints or limitations

Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No

How long did the experience last?      Ten years or six years.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?       Suddenly

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          Yes

I felt his sadness, his pain for not having correctly assessed my mother's behavior. I felt that he was with me and wanted to protect me.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  Yes, he predicted that I would become very ill. This happened.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          Experience was definitely real

          Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:   Because my father told me things that I didn't know myself. Because the emotions that accompanied the experience were so real and because I suddenly received help, even though this isn't really possible so quickly.

          Was the experience dream like in any way?  No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  I was very unhappy, sad and desperate. At the time before contact with my father I knew nothing about the abuse; it was a case of amnesia typical of trauma.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes

I was able to work through a previously repressed trauma, experiences of abuse, through therapy.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?          The feeling that my father loves me, is still there and is looking after me was very significant and good for me.

The news of the impending illness upset me and also frightened me.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes                Describe:     Working through the trauma

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?          Yes    I believe that everything is connected to everything else.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?    No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes The prediction that I would become very ill came true


What emotions did you feel during the experience?         A little calmer, more composed, I had a little more strength. But I was also angry with myself because I felt like I was going crazy, I felt like such an experience wasn't possible, couldn't happen.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?          No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes Meditation

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         Yes

It was about the abuse

Did you become aware of future events?      Yes

The trauma in and of itself and the illness.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?      No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?   No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?   No

Did you see a light?        No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?     No

Have you shared this experience with others?      

No     

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?  No

Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?   no

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?          No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?       No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?           Yes